July 7, 2012

Well I have made it through five weeks at work and just don’t have the energy to do the things that I want. It was good I had the 4^th off it took me all day to just trim a few plants around the house. It has been almost a year since I started my chemo treatment. To be here and doing what I am seemed so far away at the time. I have learned a lot this past year and know more than ever how temporary this life is. I am grateful for the opportunity of the last year and the short time I have ahead of me. Life takes on a whole new meaning, most of all when you become so dependent on others for the simplest things of life. Work is that necessary thing required so that you can sustain yourself. I am so thankful that I did go to work for the government it was a hard decision at the time but what a blessing it has turned out to be. I love being around military members and the people of all faiths that I can share my life with. The struggles of the past year are gone, no longer is that the big thing in life today it is just my hope and prayer that I can be a good employee and hold up my end of the bargain.  I get back to work and find others who have come down with cancer since I left in my own building two while I have been gone and several others on base also. Even more who have family members contending with this disease? I love the lord and all those who have prayed for me. I could not do this on my own and I actually had little to do with the whole process. I was more of an observer than anything else.

June 22, 2012

I have almost completed three weeks of being back to work and it is time to reflect back on this. As I do I am so thankful for all the love and support that has been given to Jan and myself. This is one journey that I never could have made on my own. Jan has been a great blessing to me and her support and love is second to none. We know we have our weaknesses and this was truly a blessing for us traveling down this road. We both know life is short and fragile but relationships can be so stable and enduring. I don’t know how much life I have left but I want to be a kinder and gentler person. My faith in God and his Son has increased during this process also my faith in my fellow man. We as American’s are so blessed with all we have what a great nation to live in and be part of.

6-17-2012

Today is a great Day to reflect on fathers and as I do so I was blessed to know two of my grandfathers and appreciate the relationship I had with them. I appreciate my own father who did so much for me growing up. Just to give you an idea every monring he would have a big breakfast fixed for his family. Breakfast was always on the table and ready to go at 6:00 not cereal or something out of a box but eggs, bacon, toast, pancakes, hot chocolate just to share a few of the things he would make for us then he would clean up the table do the dishes and off to work he went. When he returned home it was time for him to fix another meal at 5 P.M.  My Dad was and is still a great Dad. Too bad some of his grandchildren never really got to know him and some of his great grandchildren. I look and my children and son-in-laws what a great example they are of what being a father is all about. Well I might blog a few more times I had no idea it had been over a month.

5-2-2012

I am starting to ask myself why am I trying to write something sure seems like I have a boring life and nothing seems to change. I am looking forward to going back to work next month. Sure seems like life moves faster the older we get. I know I can’t do the things I used to and I get tired to easy. I have been fighting depression the past few days and have this hopeless feeling and I don’t know where it is coming from. Unless you know me very well I don’t think you would have any idea. Jan, is able to pick up on it and I am trying to keep as busy as I can doing things so I won’t be depressed. Oh well I will just keep trying.

4-30-2012

I am feeling better with the new medication that I have been given as it gives me more control but it is not perfect. I would say it is about 75% more effective than if I did not have anything. I still get tired and depressed not knowing what I can and cannot do each day is so different some days are better than others. I think I have a good attitude but to have a great deal of fear about going back to work. I am so forgetful and can’t remember things. Jan is constantly keeping me on track I don’t know how she does it.

4-25-2012

Met with my cancer doctor yesterday all seems to be going as scheduled and there were no signs of cancer. With the treatment I have had the recovery is very slow and as such Dale can’t do the things he used to. Oh well I will just keep getting better but very slowly.

4-24-2012

Not much to report seems like I am in a holding pattern nothing changing just a boring life which will soon change with work. I look to be back to work on June 18, 2012. I will work my last year and then retire. I am thankful for everything and last night spent time with many good friends who live in the neighborhood this always lifts my spirits.

4-23-2012

I made it through another day but getting up is so hard and I just want to be more productive and feel like I am adding something to society. This lazy life of mine is driving me nuts. I know it is up to me and I need to find some way of keeping busy and feeling productive. None of the other symptoms I have been having physically have gone and everyone tells me how good I look. My High Priest Group leader put it right when he said tell me how bad I look!

4-22-2012

Again yesterday I got up and tried to work in the yard was able to get a little over an hour in and Jan completed all the hard work in the yard. I can’t believe how slow I am to get stronger I am doing all I know how but the process is still very slow and I wear out so fast. I don’t know how I will make it when I go back to work but that is another day. For about a month my tongue has been getting a nasty white film on it and I hope to find out what is causing it. I brush my tongue at least four times a day and within a half hour I have the nasty taste of the film again, it is amazing how much it affects the taste of food.

4-21-2012

It seems like the sickness and weakness from cancer will never leave. I have been having issues with my stomach and everything I eat has a nasty taste to it. I tried to do some yard work and wow what little I did totally wore me out. I don’t know how I am going to get up at 3:30 A.M. and make it to work. Oh well I need to do what I need and I will have one year of work left before I can finally retire.

4-19-2012

Went to the Huntsman Cancer Hospital yesterday and reviewed some of the tests and will meet with doctors next week on Tuesday and Wednesday. Just can’t seem to get the energy level I need. I get so tired also one thing that was alarming to me is my spleen is enlarged again and my white blood cell count is low. It is getting closer to the time I will return to work.

4-18-2012

Today I go back to the Huntsman Cancer Hospital for some more blood tests. Then next week I will meet with both my bone marrow transplant doctor and my cancer doctor. The past few days I have been run down very tired and have felt somewhat sick and I hope it is just a temporary thing.

4-17-2012

Well another day and now I find out it will be a week before I get the results. They called from the hospital after I got home and changed the visit with the doctor. I think this is something routine but I don’t know so I will find out next week. Not much to report as I slept all day after they kind of put me out. I am feeling a bit sleepy and have had two naps already this morning.

4-15-2012

Yesterday was a celebration of 100 days since my bone marrow transplant. As such my good wife held a party to celebrate and her family brought over food and we had a good time something we need to do more often. I am thankful for all the support and love I have received and am so grateful to still be here. I have much work that I need to do with the gift of life I have been given.

April 14, 2012

Well for the second time in less than a week another person has died from the same cancer I have. It was my lung doctor. He was diagnosed two weeks before me and the young woman in my neighborhood was diagnosed two weeks after me. I am deeply moved by the passing of these two beautiful and wonderful people. Today I dedicate my block to Dr. Zenger and my father who would have turned 88 today Don Hyrum Hansen.

Mark Robison Zenger

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Mark Robison Zenger
March 25, 1956 ~ April 11, 2012
Mark Robison Zenger, 56, beloved husband, father, son, brother, uncle passed away in Salt Lake City, UT on April 11, 2012 surrounded by his family.
Mark was born in Los Angeles, California on March 25, 1956 and grew up in Palo Alto, California. He married his best friend, Jennifer Linford on February 24, 1990. They shared a great love of travel, family and medicine.
From an early age, Mark wanted to become a physician. His dream was realized when he graduated from the Medical University of Southern Carolina in 1984. After medical school, Mark completed an internal medicine residency at Columbia University (New Jersey program) and fellowship in Pulmonary/Critical Care at University of California, Irvine. He then worked at Southern Maryland Hospital in Clinton, MD and followed this with a position at San Jose Medical Group in San Jose, California. In 1999, he relocated to Salt Lake City and has been employed by Intermountain Healthcare. Mark truly loved his job, patients and staff. He was acclaimed for his caring bedside manner, attentiveness to patients, and excellent diagnostic skills.
Mark took great joy in his two accomplished and fun-loving children, Brian & Liza, and he loved spending every spare minute with them. Their family adventures included skiing, swimming, soccer games, and travel to exotic destinations. Mark also loved music. He was accomplished musician and had a lovely baritone voice, which he shared graciously in many performances. Mark was active in the LDS church served as the Sacrament Meeting and Primary chorister for 15 years as well as numerous teaching and leadership positions.
Mark enjoyed learning about people and hearing their stories. Mark's thoughtful generosity and caring heart touched lives of so many. Above all, Mark loved his family and the time he spent with them.
Mark is survived by his wife, Jennifer Linford and two children, Brian & Liza Zenger. He is also survived by his parents: Jack Zenger (Holly) of Midway, UT and Jenee Wallace, (J. Clifford) of La Jolla, CA. The oldest of six siblings he is survived by : Robin (Rich) Baker of Boston, MA , Todd ( Shawn) of St. Louis, MO, Blake (Diane) of Boston, MA, Mitch (Kelly) of Palo Alto, CA, and Drew (Sondra) of Palo Alto, CA, as well as his step-siblings, Roger Malmrose (Judy) of Pleasanton, CA, Kirk Malmrose(Audrey) of La Crescenta, CA, Lori Carmack of Heber, UT, and Mike Malmrose (Jani) of Heber, UT in addition to many aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews.
Funeral services will be at the LDS chapel at 4176 South Adonis Drive (3950 East), Salt Lake City on Monday, April 16 at 11 a.m. A viewing will be held prior to the funeral at the church from 9:30a.m. to 10:30 a.m. Interment will follow at the Salt Lake City Cemetery. Messages and tributes to the family can be posted at: www.holbrookmortuary.com.
In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations be made to the Perpetual Education Fund (LDS Church) or The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (www.lls.org).
The family wishes to express its gratitude to Dr. William Nibley, Dr. Peter Crossno and the caring staff of IMC's Respiratory ICU.

4-13-2012

I wake up today to a beautiful spring day the sun is shining and the lawn is nice and wet from the rain. Spring is my most favorite time of year flowers out in bloom and trees sprouting leaves and the blossoms on the trees small animals in the field’s life is all new all over again. This lifts my spirits and gives me the emotional boost I need. Myself I am progressing slowly and I am quite anxious for all my tests and results next week.

4-12-2012

This is a new day and my life is so boring I am having a hard time knowing what to write about. Not much has changed and it is very much the same old story. I am waiting for all the tests to be taken on Monday. Then on Wednesday I met with the bone marrow transplant doctor. I will have a much better idea where I am at once he is able to evaluate all the tests. I love spring and wish to be outside today is a bit of a cold day. Life is good and I am so blessed, good wife, children, grandchildren and many good friends.

4-11-2012

Today I dedicate my blog to a dear friend Celeste Nichole Poll who just passed away.

Celeste Nichole Poll

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April 13, 1989~April 9, 2012
Celeste Nichole Poll, age 22, passed away Monday, April 9, 2012, in LDS Hospital, Salt Lake City.
Born in the same hospital, April 13, 1989, to Robert Vance Poll and Christiane Campbell Poll, she was welcomed with their open arms. They were by her side again, comforting her, when she left this world. Celeste was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma last July, and fought a valiant battle to stay with us. The fifth of nine children, Celeste was the "pivot point" in her family. She was a positive and calming influence to all who knew her, especially her siblings: Shaleece Oldroyd (Mitchell), Laurissa, Heather, Katrina David (Adam), Nicholas, Christian, Thomas, and Bethany. A talented pianist, Celeste graduated from Utah State University with a Bachelor's degree in Music Therapy less than two months before her diagnosis. We will miss her greatly, and the spirit she brought with her heartfelt music, but we look forward to hearing her song again when we are reunited.
Family and Friends are invited to attend the following services. Viewing at Jenkins-Soffe South Valley, 1007 W. South Jordan Pkwy, Friday April 13, 2012 6-8 p.m. Viewing at the Country Crossing 9th Ward, 2812 W. 11800 S., Saturday, April 14, 9:30 - 10:45 a.m. Funeral following at 11:00 a.m.

4-10-2012

I have not been the best at keeping up my log. I have been very depressed with some of the things that have been taking place. In the past few weeks I have lost to friends one at work and the other a young 22 year old who fought a courageous battle with a similar cancer. I have been having digestives issues and a nasty taste in my mouth my tongue has a white coating and everything tastes like the coating. I brush my tongue and try to get rid of the coating but is comes right back within an hour.   

3-27-2012

Yesterday was a good day Jan asked me to drop off some papers at her school. What a surprise this was to me I had the opportunity of meeting staff, teachers and other administrators. Jan works with some truly great people who have been a real support to both of us. I came home and spent the rest of the day just sleeping, something I do real well at.