August 19, 2011

Did not sleep last night starting to get the chills and nausea is returning. Yesterday was one of the better days I have had. The doctors are administering my chemo and adjusting in to my ever changing PH balance was not where it should have been so they had to slow the chemo. I am four hours behind schedule. The next chemo they started me on in conjunction with the first causes burring of the eyes. I am now on eye drops and feel real sick.

August 17, 2011

Yesterday was another beautiful day in my life. This day was not representative of the weather but of the good friends and people who make my life so wonderful.  I was blessed to have a visit from the best the Air Force has to give Andrea, Fran, Susan and Mike traveled all the way from Hill AFB to visit and spend time with me lifting my spirits. Then I had visits from Dave, the Celestial Maids three women who live near me who came and cleaned my home, Frank the best 82 year old man you could ever think of. Then the family who brought dinner and the guests continued. The phone calls to cheer me on with Chemo and all who sustain me. All total there is so much sunshine in my soul today it all comes from all my friends and so many I had no idea I have at all. All I can do is sing praises to the Lord for you love and support. I am a very blessed man and I am so thankful to my worldwide family that provides so much encouragement and the way you have lifted my burden is beyond my wildest dreams and imagination. I have so much joy thank you all for making each day my very best. Well today I will start my next six days of straight chemo so I will sign off until I return home again. I will keep my notebook by my bed and will update when I get home. I love you all and again thanks for making my life so much richer.

August 16, 2011

Today I stand all amazed at the small Christian Army that descended upon my home to take care of things I am no longer able to do. Last night at 7:30 P.M. the Daybreak Young Single Adult Ward’s appeared on our doorstep with the “Rallying Cry” friend, neighbor, and associate elderly gentleman down.  In in a very short period of time my desperate landscape in short order became again one of the better looking landscapes in Daybreak Utah. It might take Desperate Landscapes of HGTV all day to accomplish something like this but it only took these fine and good Young Christian Young Men and Women a little over an hour to accomplish something that would take me a very long period of time to accomplish if I was well. The best part of this is that most often we do a better job of taking care of our yards than anyone else would.

When Jan and I looked at the yard and this small Christian Army how could we ever be think our yard looked good in the past. These youth under the Direction of their Bishop Scott Mayfield and under the leadership of other young single adult leaders from their Elders Quorum Presidency and Relief Society Presidency and other Ward organizations performed a miracle in their service.

This act of love could not be of greater value if it had been performed by our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ himself. I know our Savior of the New Testament is so proud of the service given last night. The testimony of the Savior was in the eyes and directly reflected in their good deeds. Jan and I have been touched and blessed again way beyond what I could ever feel worthy of.

My dear brothers and sisters that compromise the Daybreak 15^th Young Single Adult Ward, my many thanks and love for what you have done. I have a testimony “That Charity Never Faileth”

OUR YARD LOOKS THE BEST! OUR HOA NEEDS TO KNOW OF THIS GOOD DEED.

August 15, 2011

This truly has been on lazy day; I have not had enough energy to do the blog. I get to the computer and I am only here for about a minute and then I am so tired I need get on the bed. My computer is next to the bed here in the bedroom. Well I want to share a little bit about my day yesterday. I felt good enough to go to church for about 35 minutes and then I came home to rest.
Early in the evening we had a great meal prepared by my wife’s good mother and talk about a feast I have not eaten so much in several weeks the food was outstanding we had pot roast with wonderful potatoes, gravy, cooked carrots, beans fresh rolls and desert. I guess I just ate so well that I have not had the energy to do anything else

August 14, 2011

I think I will call today’s entry the “Rallying Cry” You may be asking yourself what has this got to do with all I am going through. As I look back as some of the most discouraging parts of diagnosis, treatment and being sick and weak the one thing that comes to mind is the rallying point. You might be asking yourself what Dale is talking about.

Well when you are diagnosed and find out what is going on it is not the most exciting time in your life. But then again with friends when the rally starts you feel a strength that you never knew you had. This new strength does no come from pity but it come from the battle cry of friends who say. I will be there, let me know what is going on. How are you feeling you are not going to be going through this alone?

When everyone took an active part at work and wore arm bands wow this was an amazing feeling. The best way for me to share this is you have a group of military personnel.  A small squad is off in the distance fighting and they get seriously hit.  It could be hopeless but the rest of the platoon decides to rally and rescue the fallen squad. Then energy level increases for all those going to the rescue and those being rescued. It becomes all for one and one for all and a new commitment to unit and self grows out of a crisis and a new level of trust and binding friendship grows.

This is what I have felt the strength I have does not come from me myself and to know that I will live another day is a great blessing. This” Rallying Cry” from my friends and family has been all I need to keep going.

To all you good friends and those who truly understand thank you so much you are the greatest and I would like to mention names but there are so many of you from all walks of life. Thank you for the great lessons you have been teaching me.

August 13, 2011

I am up again the pain and discomfort is not allowing me to sleep. S such I thought it was good time to write what I am feeling at this time.  I have been asking myself as I get weaker what keeps me going. I could be so discouraged at this point and time. But as I look at it and try to figure where the strength comes to fight this disease and the strength to keep going as I had no idea how difficult this was going to be. Then I know where it comes. It comes from those who truly care about you those that you never ever thought would have cared about you.

It is my world family, who makes up my world family I ask myself? For sure is it is those closest to you in my case my two children Lisa, Brian their families and my good wife Jan.

My strength does not start and end here it goes on it comes from so many truly good people who call and who you know care. It comes from the stranger you don’t know today but you know tomorrow who you have shared some feelings with.

The places I always thought I would get the most support have been most surprising it has not come from them.  My family at work is so good, Jan’s family at work is so good and I never had any idea how great my neighbors would be. Yet today I stand as a witness knowing where it comes from as I have struggled the past few days in the hospital as my tank of energy and home seemed to be diminishing and was wondering how I would do it. I found that I have a reserve tank, this tank is filled with those who keep calling and asking how I am doing how I am feeling and knowing that I have not been well keep calling and offering love and understanding.

My yard concerns me a great deal it used to be my pride and joy having a good looking well-kept yard. I have some bushes that have become over grown and when I came home yesterday from the hospital I saw them and the task was overwhelming. How would I ever get it done and the yard back to shape? This task was too much for me to concentrate on far less something that I can even accomplish.

Then last night I got a call from the Daybreak Young Single Adult Ward, these youth are so great they called and said we need a service project is there some yard work or something we can do. Then they told me they will be over Monday night to take care of my yard. I broke down in gratitude and thanksgiving for their support.

I have found at times like this you truly find out how good people are and how much it means to have friends and family that support you. This is a journey I cannot make on my own regardless of the outcome but the compassion that is being shown is so good. The phone call Dale how are you today and I will call tomorrow to see how you are doing sustains me.

The one thing I am now sorry about it that I did not take more opportunity to serve during my life time. I truly have a testimony of service and how we do adopt others into our families. I want to thank everyone who has called and offered their support and condolences. I want to thank Jan and my extended families of the community for all the great things you have done on our behalf.

I see the world in such different terms. Yesterday as my good friend Bill was driving me home from the hospital I truly understood something else. As a society we move far too fast I was watching the cars speeding in and out of traffic cutting others off failing to signal and said what a different world I am seeing on the road. This is so different from the kindness and understanding I have been feeling at home.

I thought about families and though how often and different they are I have a friend who told me almost every Thanksgiving he hates to get with family there is always an argument and it usually erupts over alcohol. Then I have friends who come from humble backgrounds and they have the strongest of families. In contract when I look at these friends who have talked about why they like or dislike Thanksgiving I see things in a different light. One family it is a duty and they lack support they don’t talk much during the year and they don’t truly care. The other family they are always sharing things, time stories and the simple but meaningful things of life.

I think today I have been too reflective about what is going on but I want to thank everyone who calls and checks up it keeps the gas in my reserve tank. Well my hair was falling out so fast it was time to shave my head it will be close to a year before I get some of the roof back.

August 12, 2011

Wow, another day and I am just struggling to keep moving. This has been a horrible day I have not had any energy and then I got very ill and started running a fever. I had to be taken to the hospital where I remained with what appeared to be an infection. Lost several pounds of bodily fluids within about a fifteen minute period of time, this makes three days that I have been back to the hospital since I was released I am so week I can hardly walk at this time. I am walking and trying to show signs of strength. This is starting to be one of the greater challenges in life just trying to move and be active at this time. I appreciate Jan and all her patience and my good friends Bill and Kit they came to the hospital and spent time with Jan and I while we were in the emergency room and the University of Utah Hospital.  So tired not much to say I am not connected with the world the way I have been feeling.

August 11, 2011

Wow, this is a very different day I have not felt like this for a long time. The drugs that have been administered to avoid the pain of the kidney stone have taken their affect. I am so sleepy and don’t feel any pain right now.

All I know is that I am very tired and I am having a hard time just trying to write down what I am feeling. This is so different; I know I can’t drive as my balance is off. Very difficult trying to spell and hit the right letters on the key board not a good day to be driving could cause an accident.

Never been so tired wondering when I will wake up alert. It is 8:30 in the morning and I have been sleeping since 8:30 last night. Fell like an old drunk feels good in one sense without any pain but so disconnected from the world. Sure hope I will gain my barring’s about myself and know where and what I need to be doing, right now I am taking the safe side by sleeping. Yet this is the best I have felt since I have been home no pain, no indigestions, able to just sleep. Very unusually day wanted to write but writing is not making much sense.

August 10, 2011

Yesterday was a most amazing day. I got my car back from the shop and ran a couple of errands. I purchased my first set of clippers to shave my head before I go back to the hospital for my next round of chemo. I came home and fixed myself some lunch and then the world changed. I came down with this terrible back pain. Jan got home from work at 4:00 P.M. I called my doctor and was told to get to the hospital as it appears my kidney stone is dropping. We drove to the University of Utah Hospital's Emergency room and I remained there until 10:00 P.M. The stone did not move anymore and I was sent home. Well today I go back to the Huntsman Hospital and will remain there for about four hours. I did not accomplish anything yesterday. Hope I can get a few things done today. I will start writing my personal history as soon as I feel better. I woke up with some pain and decided it was time to publish my log for today.

August 9, 2011

Today was a very different day and I never truly know how I am going to feel I got up took my antibiotic and then an hour later took my steroids oh this is what just takes everything away from me. I got so sick and ran out of energy could hardly move. No energy could not even talk on the phone and if I did so it was only for a few minutes and then I was just tired my voice is so week I can hardly be heard.

Jan came home and took care of my dinner and we left to go visit some friends and came back home. The very worst part of the day was our town home was under contact and it appears it has failed since the buyers for our town home lost the sale on their home which was a backup offer. I sure hate the thought of making another monthly payment on the townhome.  As such I did not feel like I made any progress today I am trying to keep a positive attitude and will wait and see what tomorrow brings.

August 8, 2010

This was another great day, I did leave home for two hours to attend church and what a great feeling that was having missed last week. I have never felt such an out pouring of love and kindness. I came home and soon afterward my youngest son, his wife Amber and the two little ones Austin and Brighton the twins came to what a joy grandchildren are such a great blessing from our Father-In-Heaven. I felt okay I can tell I am losing my strength with this battle but my spirits are so good. I have found that there are so many different families in my life. I have my nuclear family with Jan my wife Lisa my daughter and her family and Brian my son and his family. Then I have various church families’ members and organization, my work family, Jan’s work family, and then in my treatment at Huntsman I have several teams of family working for my well-being. This does not include my many good and supportive friends over the years that have come to see me from far away. I am very blessed and this is what keeps me going. The love that is shared it makes it easy to keep a positive attitude not matter the outcome. I never would have thought this possible. I love my neighbors and their small children and the joy they bring into my life. I love the former Dentist who is here to take care of me and provide shots I love the neighbor who has worked so hard making sure we  have help to clean the home. I love neighbor who is working too hard to make sure I have transportation to and from the hospital so Jan can go to school and work and not have to compromise her position. I feel good emotionally, socially and spiritually. What a gift physically I am between 20and 25 percent of what I used to be. All I can say is that I am blessed and I know I could never make this treatment on my own. If I make it through it, the reason will be because of all the good people around me who have carried me. If I don’t my life is so much richer and I have not one regret I am surrounded by the best of the best.

August 7, 2011

As I am home and I write about my experience I am going to be reporting on the day before. Yesterday I got up and took my antibiotic at 5 A.M. and at 6 A.M. hour later took ten steroid pills. I started become very ill and sick to my stomach and week. We had to be at the Huntsman Center for my infusion treatment which is nothing more than having four hours of outpatient Chemo therapy. I was afraid that I was going to be admitted to the hospital. It took about half an hour to stabilize me the data bank and treatment they have been using is most helpful I was administer drugs and the pain subsided and I gain my strength back. I was then ready for my outpatient Chemo.
When we left the hospital we ran a few errands and got some lunch came home for about an hour and then we went to get a nice pedicure on our feet. I cannot say how nice this was usually I would say I am a man and I don't deserve this type of treatment. All in all it was great we enjoyed it very much and my feet felt so good. The lady working on my feel said I had small little cristilized balls that were dissolving and usually are a sign of poison. Dug what is Chemo but I could bend my toes when I was done which I have not been able to do for several months. I think we have come on to something. We got home about 5 P.M. and I was lazy until about nine P.M. at which time I went to bed. I have only been able to sleep about two hours all night it is 3:38 A.M. as I am finishing this log.

August 6, 2011

I can’t believe how fast this time is going. I have been home three days and today I go back to the hospital for some tests and to see about the bone marrow replacement therapy program. I should be at the hospital for at least four hours I was told. I don’t like to think about what the medical staff will be doing to my body. All I know is that they are doing everything within their power to protect and preserve me. Yesterday turned out to be a fantastic day. I went internet shopping with my little six year old granddaughter Eden. She is so bright and the things she decided she would like for school were so cute she has such good taste. Not something I would have ever thought of doing with her living so far away. I can’t thank Lisa my daughter for her insight this was a great and wonderful experience to talk to Eden on the phone as we shopped on line. Sure beats going into the store and being subjected to various infections. The best shopping experience I have ever had.

August 5, 2011

This is the dawning of a new day a day of HOPE, I made it through another day and was so glad to be home. I have had a bit of a hard night trying to sleep but how thankful I am to be here for one more day.  I broke a light fever and decided it was time to get up and complete my blog for today I will need to catch up on it tomorrow. Today I am going to read a little and focus more on feeling good. As I think of where I could be and who I could be with I am so thankful that I work with the best people in the whole United States Air Force both Military and Civilian. This journey is one that I cannot complete on my own. The many helping hands just amaze me, those carrying the load for me at work, those who take care of my yard and home, those caregivers at the hospital and my family members wife and children who are devoted and doing all within their power to assist and give me hope. Today I dedicate my blog to HOPE, I am reminded of 23rd Psalms and 3rd Ecclesiastes, take a moment to read them not only do I get HOPE from them but from all who are truly sustaining me. Jan, Lisa and Brian thank you for your love and understanding as my family members. My work family thank you, my friends and associates in so many other ventures of life thank you my life could not be richer.

August 4, 2011

I am so glad to be home had no stop visitors and it has taken me a while to get back to being able to do my blog. I still have an energy drain but I can’t say how good it feels to be away from my chemo line.  Jan got home last night and we talked till very late sure seems good to have her home. I have not talked to anyone on the phone today other than for business reason.  I am so thankful for life and this extended opportunity I have been given the Lord is most merciful. I think tomorrow I can get focused on some of the things I have been neglecting. I know I can’t do yard work but there is some reading and writing that I want to work on. Other than feeling weak I feel good still a bit sick to my stomach. I have lost four pounds today I can feel the chemo leaving the fluid from chemo sure adds quickly to your weight.  Jan, should be home from school in about an hour and a half.  

July 30, 2011

I feel all out of sorts two nights without sleep. I checked in the hospital at 237 pounds and now weigh 268 pounds which makes sitting and lying so much harder. I am so constipated I can’t stand it lost night I had a visit from a good friend from work Ingrid, her family came with her and they prayer for me and the comfort I felt afterwards was great. I wish I had more control in life I shower on the time that is best for the staff, seldom getting a shower before 10 A.M. Everywhere I go I am connected to the lines feeding the chemo to my body and this sure has been a major energy drain. The good news I just got an offer on my townhome in Daybreak this will take a financial burden off Jan and I. I can't do the paperwork while I am here in the hospital. I need the support of others and am so thankful to all those who are helping me. Coach Dan Leatherwood has organized a team of professionals to do my yard. Dan my many thanks you, and this great team I have served with in the past. I cannot thank you all enough.

July 31, 2011

 Worst day yet don’t know who is winning this battle the chemo or the cancer. Had a very upset stomach and this new chemo treatment will go on for the next 72 hours. Terry a very good friend of mine for over 20 years came to visit, these visit mean far more to me than anyone will ever know.  Terry traveled all the way from Perry Utah. He has always been such a good and faithful friend why I am so blessed? I felt bad that he had to leave Ana his wife is not doing so well herself and he has been a great caretaker. Seems like this is something I never wanted to have was a caretaker and now Jan has been delegated this role. Terry you made my day and life is so much brighter.

After Terry left I was hit with some severe stomach pain and lost control and need help to get cleaned up. I don’t need to paint a picture of this. I felt so disgraced by what I am unable to do. Then I got a phone call from another great man in my life, Fred Ferguson who served as my spiritual leader some years ago. His words were so kind I just fell into tears this after my recovery and feeling of disgrace.  It was so good to hear him and know that he was there how can I be so blessed with such good friends who care and honor their fellow man. I don’t feel worthy of these great blessings and opportunities.

After I finished talking to Fred another friend called his name is Brent and his little boy
Donovan offered a prayer for me. Not long after that Jan, my wife called she is in San Diego and offered a prayer for me on the phone. I felt comfort as I have not in a long time and became calm and rested.

August 1, 2011

Another day just like yesterday same chemo never knew how strong this drug could be. Not the person I thought I would be been very tired, my oxygen levels are dropping and I am on oxygen has fallen into the 80’s. Been following the debt crisis too bad out leaders over the past several years have allowed us to get into this situation.
Fred Ferguson just stopped by and we had a great opportunity to share some experiences near and dear to our own hearts. I am so thankful he came down and that we had a chance to see and talk to each other. Again, I need to thank Terry T for this or it never would have happened. Also for Fred to travel the distance he did to see me. Fred represents everything good I know and what a power person he is. While we were visiting my CNA came in and she is 22 years old what an amazing young woman full of maturity beyond her years. Nikki is her name and she is a nursing student. Well Fred’s son Rob is a PA student and we are hoping to get them lined up. Brings back some good times serving the young single adult youth

August 2, 2011

This has been a good day now I can say I am seven for eight one more day until I get to go home. I was very tired from all the chemo and was sleeping on the bed when all to my surprise I had visitors. They always give you energy I cannot say how much I appreciate my good friends and family. I love talking to my daughter Lisa on the phone and her children they are far away in Kentucky but so close on the phone.

As I was saying I woke up and low and behold two great co-workers from Hill AFB were here Trish Wheat and Brent Hoskins, they also brought down some neat little gifts a pig who is so cute he could be my sixth child, just kidding we had a great visit and then RaNae and another good friend came also and there were the five of us having a good visit when I got caught by my Mother-In-Law Barb. It was so nice to share with Barb, the good people I have been able to work with and how true they are at being good friends. These are they who have carried me and been my family when times have been hard. I cannot say enough about these true blue friends. Then not long after they left I had the privilege of seeing my boss again. Cathy is the best twice in one week she has been by what a Saint. If she keeps this up it won’t be long and she will be just like Mother Teresa, actually I like that I hope I can get my co-workers and work to call her Mother Cathy. She does not just drop in and leave she truly cares and wants to know how the days has been what the plans are for the next few days and always blesses me like a good Mom and more so like my Mother Superior. Cathy, if you are reading this just know there is a side of you that I want to share with the whole world. Thank you for taking care of me and making my life so much richer. You are second to none I think General Patton said that but then again in my state of mind who knows.

August 3, 2011

I have been trying to post and update my blog and as such I am very tired. I am home now and so glad to be here nice to be free from the chemo for a while. As I ponder back over this past eight days I can't help but know the more independent we think we are the more dependent we actually are on others. I think pride gets in the way. I thought I was so independent and now when I am so dependent on others it just amazes me how people come through. I have so much help, love and understanding I just keep asking myself why am I so blessed with good friends, people who care, and people who do and who listen. I have learned one thing we all have a story and mine does not compare to the great things I have been learning. My PA escaped Iran at the age of 13 all on his own went to Turkey and to Europe before coming to the United States and to look at him and then look at myself I admire him look at what he has accomplished but as he said he could not do it on his own but he did far more of it on his own than I have who am I to say woe be me. I love you all thanks for being the best friends in the WORLD!