July 7, 2012

Well I have made it through five weeks at work and just don’t have the energy to do the things that I want. It was good I had the 4^th off it took me all day to just trim a few plants around the house. It has been almost a year since I started my chemo treatment. To be here and doing what I am seemed so far away at the time. I have learned a lot this past year and know more than ever how temporary this life is. I am grateful for the opportunity of the last year and the short time I have ahead of me. Life takes on a whole new meaning, most of all when you become so dependent on others for the simplest things of life. Work is that necessary thing required so that you can sustain yourself. I am so thankful that I did go to work for the government it was a hard decision at the time but what a blessing it has turned out to be. I love being around military members and the people of all faiths that I can share my life with. The struggles of the past year are gone, no longer is that the big thing in life today it is just my hope and prayer that I can be a good employee and hold up my end of the bargain.  I get back to work and find others who have come down with cancer since I left in my own building two while I have been gone and several others on base also. Even more who have family members contending with this disease? I love the lord and all those who have prayed for me. I could not do this on my own and I actually had little to do with the whole process. I was more of an observer than anything else.

June 22, 2012

I have almost completed three weeks of being back to work and it is time to reflect back on this. As I do I am so thankful for all the love and support that has been given to Jan and myself. This is one journey that I never could have made on my own. Jan has been a great blessing to me and her support and love is second to none. We know we have our weaknesses and this was truly a blessing for us traveling down this road. We both know life is short and fragile but relationships can be so stable and enduring. I don’t know how much life I have left but I want to be a kinder and gentler person. My faith in God and his Son has increased during this process also my faith in my fellow man. We as American’s are so blessed with all we have what a great nation to live in and be part of.

6-17-2012

Today is a great Day to reflect on fathers and as I do so I was blessed to know two of my grandfathers and appreciate the relationship I had with them. I appreciate my own father who did so much for me growing up. Just to give you an idea every monring he would have a big breakfast fixed for his family. Breakfast was always on the table and ready to go at 6:00 not cereal or something out of a box but eggs, bacon, toast, pancakes, hot chocolate just to share a few of the things he would make for us then he would clean up the table do the dishes and off to work he went. When he returned home it was time for him to fix another meal at 5 P.M.  My Dad was and is still a great Dad. Too bad some of his grandchildren never really got to know him and some of his great grandchildren. I look and my children and son-in-laws what a great example they are of what being a father is all about. Well I might blog a few more times I had no idea it had been over a month.

5-2-2012

I am starting to ask myself why am I trying to write something sure seems like I have a boring life and nothing seems to change. I am looking forward to going back to work next month. Sure seems like life moves faster the older we get. I know I can’t do the things I used to and I get tired to easy. I have been fighting depression the past few days and have this hopeless feeling and I don’t know where it is coming from. Unless you know me very well I don’t think you would have any idea. Jan, is able to pick up on it and I am trying to keep as busy as I can doing things so I won’t be depressed. Oh well I will just keep trying.

4-30-2012

I am feeling better with the new medication that I have been given as it gives me more control but it is not perfect. I would say it is about 75% more effective than if I did not have anything. I still get tired and depressed not knowing what I can and cannot do each day is so different some days are better than others. I think I have a good attitude but to have a great deal of fear about going back to work. I am so forgetful and can’t remember things. Jan is constantly keeping me on track I don’t know how she does it.

4-25-2012

Met with my cancer doctor yesterday all seems to be going as scheduled and there were no signs of cancer. With the treatment I have had the recovery is very slow and as such Dale can’t do the things he used to. Oh well I will just keep getting better but very slowly.

4-24-2012

Not much to report seems like I am in a holding pattern nothing changing just a boring life which will soon change with work. I look to be back to work on June 18, 2012. I will work my last year and then retire. I am thankful for everything and last night spent time with many good friends who live in the neighborhood this always lifts my spirits.