July 7, 2012

Well I have made it through five weeks at work and just don’t have the energy to do the things that I want. It was good I had the 4^th off it took me all day to just trim a few plants around the house. It has been almost a year since I started my chemo treatment. To be here and doing what I am seemed so far away at the time. I have learned a lot this past year and know more than ever how temporary this life is. I am grateful for the opportunity of the last year and the short time I have ahead of me. Life takes on a whole new meaning, most of all when you become so dependent on others for the simplest things of life. Work is that necessary thing required so that you can sustain yourself. I am so thankful that I did go to work for the government it was a hard decision at the time but what a blessing it has turned out to be. I love being around military members and the people of all faiths that I can share my life with. The struggles of the past year are gone, no longer is that the big thing in life today it is just my hope and prayer that I can be a good employee and hold up my end of the bargain.  I get back to work and find others who have come down with cancer since I left in my own building two while I have been gone and several others on base also. Even more who have family members contending with this disease? I love the lord and all those who have prayed for me. I could not do this on my own and I actually had little to do with the whole process. I was more of an observer than anything else.

June 22, 2012

I have almost completed three weeks of being back to work and it is time to reflect back on this. As I do I am so thankful for all the love and support that has been given to Jan and myself. This is one journey that I never could have made on my own. Jan has been a great blessing to me and her support and love is second to none. We know we have our weaknesses and this was truly a blessing for us traveling down this road. We both know life is short and fragile but relationships can be so stable and enduring. I don’t know how much life I have left but I want to be a kinder and gentler person. My faith in God and his Son has increased during this process also my faith in my fellow man. We as American’s are so blessed with all we have what a great nation to live in and be part of.

6-17-2012

Today is a great Day to reflect on fathers and as I do so I was blessed to know two of my grandfathers and appreciate the relationship I had with them. I appreciate my own father who did so much for me growing up. Just to give you an idea every monring he would have a big breakfast fixed for his family. Breakfast was always on the table and ready to go at 6:00 not cereal or something out of a box but eggs, bacon, toast, pancakes, hot chocolate just to share a few of the things he would make for us then he would clean up the table do the dishes and off to work he went. When he returned home it was time for him to fix another meal at 5 P.M.  My Dad was and is still a great Dad. Too bad some of his grandchildren never really got to know him and some of his great grandchildren. I look and my children and son-in-laws what a great example they are of what being a father is all about. Well I might blog a few more times I had no idea it had been over a month.

5-2-2012

I am starting to ask myself why am I trying to write something sure seems like I have a boring life and nothing seems to change. I am looking forward to going back to work next month. Sure seems like life moves faster the older we get. I know I can’t do the things I used to and I get tired to easy. I have been fighting depression the past few days and have this hopeless feeling and I don’t know where it is coming from. Unless you know me very well I don’t think you would have any idea. Jan, is able to pick up on it and I am trying to keep as busy as I can doing things so I won’t be depressed. Oh well I will just keep trying.

4-30-2012

I am feeling better with the new medication that I have been given as it gives me more control but it is not perfect. I would say it is about 75% more effective than if I did not have anything. I still get tired and depressed not knowing what I can and cannot do each day is so different some days are better than others. I think I have a good attitude but to have a great deal of fear about going back to work. I am so forgetful and can’t remember things. Jan is constantly keeping me on track I don’t know how she does it.

4-25-2012

Met with my cancer doctor yesterday all seems to be going as scheduled and there were no signs of cancer. With the treatment I have had the recovery is very slow and as such Dale can’t do the things he used to. Oh well I will just keep getting better but very slowly.

4-24-2012

Not much to report seems like I am in a holding pattern nothing changing just a boring life which will soon change with work. I look to be back to work on June 18, 2012. I will work my last year and then retire. I am thankful for everything and last night spent time with many good friends who live in the neighborhood this always lifts my spirits.

4-23-2012

I made it through another day but getting up is so hard and I just want to be more productive and feel like I am adding something to society. This lazy life of mine is driving me nuts. I know it is up to me and I need to find some way of keeping busy and feeling productive. None of the other symptoms I have been having physically have gone and everyone tells me how good I look. My High Priest Group leader put it right when he said tell me how bad I look!

4-22-2012

Again yesterday I got up and tried to work in the yard was able to get a little over an hour in and Jan completed all the hard work in the yard. I can’t believe how slow I am to get stronger I am doing all I know how but the process is still very slow and I wear out so fast. I don’t know how I will make it when I go back to work but that is another day. For about a month my tongue has been getting a nasty white film on it and I hope to find out what is causing it. I brush my tongue at least four times a day and within a half hour I have the nasty taste of the film again, it is amazing how much it affects the taste of food.

4-21-2012

It seems like the sickness and weakness from cancer will never leave. I have been having issues with my stomach and everything I eat has a nasty taste to it. I tried to do some yard work and wow what little I did totally wore me out. I don’t know how I am going to get up at 3:30 A.M. and make it to work. Oh well I need to do what I need and I will have one year of work left before I can finally retire.

4-19-2012

Went to the Huntsman Cancer Hospital yesterday and reviewed some of the tests and will meet with doctors next week on Tuesday and Wednesday. Just can’t seem to get the energy level I need. I get so tired also one thing that was alarming to me is my spleen is enlarged again and my white blood cell count is low. It is getting closer to the time I will return to work.

4-18-2012

Today I go back to the Huntsman Cancer Hospital for some more blood tests. Then next week I will meet with both my bone marrow transplant doctor and my cancer doctor. The past few days I have been run down very tired and have felt somewhat sick and I hope it is just a temporary thing.

4-17-2012

Well another day and now I find out it will be a week before I get the results. They called from the hospital after I got home and changed the visit with the doctor. I think this is something routine but I don’t know so I will find out next week. Not much to report as I slept all day after they kind of put me out. I am feeling a bit sleepy and have had two naps already this morning.

4-15-2012

Yesterday was a celebration of 100 days since my bone marrow transplant. As such my good wife held a party to celebrate and her family brought over food and we had a good time something we need to do more often. I am thankful for all the support and love I have received and am so grateful to still be here. I have much work that I need to do with the gift of life I have been given.

April 14, 2012

Well for the second time in less than a week another person has died from the same cancer I have. It was my lung doctor. He was diagnosed two weeks before me and the young woman in my neighborhood was diagnosed two weeks after me. I am deeply moved by the passing of these two beautiful and wonderful people. Today I dedicate my block to Dr. Zenger and my father who would have turned 88 today Don Hyrum Hansen.

Mark Robison Zenger

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Mark Robison Zenger
March 25, 1956 ~ April 11, 2012
Mark Robison Zenger, 56, beloved husband, father, son, brother, uncle passed away in Salt Lake City, UT on April 11, 2012 surrounded by his family.
Mark was born in Los Angeles, California on March 25, 1956 and grew up in Palo Alto, California. He married his best friend, Jennifer Linford on February 24, 1990. They shared a great love of travel, family and medicine.
From an early age, Mark wanted to become a physician. His dream was realized when he graduated from the Medical University of Southern Carolina in 1984. After medical school, Mark completed an internal medicine residency at Columbia University (New Jersey program) and fellowship in Pulmonary/Critical Care at University of California, Irvine. He then worked at Southern Maryland Hospital in Clinton, MD and followed this with a position at San Jose Medical Group in San Jose, California. In 1999, he relocated to Salt Lake City and has been employed by Intermountain Healthcare. Mark truly loved his job, patients and staff. He was acclaimed for his caring bedside manner, attentiveness to patients, and excellent diagnostic skills.
Mark took great joy in his two accomplished and fun-loving children, Brian & Liza, and he loved spending every spare minute with them. Their family adventures included skiing, swimming, soccer games, and travel to exotic destinations. Mark also loved music. He was accomplished musician and had a lovely baritone voice, which he shared graciously in many performances. Mark was active in the LDS church served as the Sacrament Meeting and Primary chorister for 15 years as well as numerous teaching and leadership positions.
Mark enjoyed learning about people and hearing their stories. Mark's thoughtful generosity and caring heart touched lives of so many. Above all, Mark loved his family and the time he spent with them.
Mark is survived by his wife, Jennifer Linford and two children, Brian & Liza Zenger. He is also survived by his parents: Jack Zenger (Holly) of Midway, UT and Jenee Wallace, (J. Clifford) of La Jolla, CA. The oldest of six siblings he is survived by : Robin (Rich) Baker of Boston, MA , Todd ( Shawn) of St. Louis, MO, Blake (Diane) of Boston, MA, Mitch (Kelly) of Palo Alto, CA, and Drew (Sondra) of Palo Alto, CA, as well as his step-siblings, Roger Malmrose (Judy) of Pleasanton, CA, Kirk Malmrose(Audrey) of La Crescenta, CA, Lori Carmack of Heber, UT, and Mike Malmrose (Jani) of Heber, UT in addition to many aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews.
Funeral services will be at the LDS chapel at 4176 South Adonis Drive (3950 East), Salt Lake City on Monday, April 16 at 11 a.m. A viewing will be held prior to the funeral at the church from 9:30a.m. to 10:30 a.m. Interment will follow at the Salt Lake City Cemetery. Messages and tributes to the family can be posted at: www.holbrookmortuary.com.
In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations be made to the Perpetual Education Fund (LDS Church) or The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (www.lls.org).
The family wishes to express its gratitude to Dr. William Nibley, Dr. Peter Crossno and the caring staff of IMC's Respiratory ICU.

4-13-2012

I wake up today to a beautiful spring day the sun is shining and the lawn is nice and wet from the rain. Spring is my most favorite time of year flowers out in bloom and trees sprouting leaves and the blossoms on the trees small animals in the field’s life is all new all over again. This lifts my spirits and gives me the emotional boost I need. Myself I am progressing slowly and I am quite anxious for all my tests and results next week.

4-12-2012

This is a new day and my life is so boring I am having a hard time knowing what to write about. Not much has changed and it is very much the same old story. I am waiting for all the tests to be taken on Monday. Then on Wednesday I met with the bone marrow transplant doctor. I will have a much better idea where I am at once he is able to evaluate all the tests. I love spring and wish to be outside today is a bit of a cold day. Life is good and I am so blessed, good wife, children, grandchildren and many good friends.

4-11-2012

Today I dedicate my blog to a dear friend Celeste Nichole Poll who just passed away.

Celeste Nichole Poll

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April 13, 1989~April 9, 2012
Celeste Nichole Poll, age 22, passed away Monday, April 9, 2012, in LDS Hospital, Salt Lake City.
Born in the same hospital, April 13, 1989, to Robert Vance Poll and Christiane Campbell Poll, she was welcomed with their open arms. They were by her side again, comforting her, when she left this world. Celeste was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma last July, and fought a valiant battle to stay with us. The fifth of nine children, Celeste was the "pivot point" in her family. She was a positive and calming influence to all who knew her, especially her siblings: Shaleece Oldroyd (Mitchell), Laurissa, Heather, Katrina David (Adam), Nicholas, Christian, Thomas, and Bethany. A talented pianist, Celeste graduated from Utah State University with a Bachelor's degree in Music Therapy less than two months before her diagnosis. We will miss her greatly, and the spirit she brought with her heartfelt music, but we look forward to hearing her song again when we are reunited.
Family and Friends are invited to attend the following services. Viewing at Jenkins-Soffe South Valley, 1007 W. South Jordan Pkwy, Friday April 13, 2012 6-8 p.m. Viewing at the Country Crossing 9th Ward, 2812 W. 11800 S., Saturday, April 14, 9:30 - 10:45 a.m. Funeral following at 11:00 a.m.

4-10-2012

I have not been the best at keeping up my log. I have been very depressed with some of the things that have been taking place. In the past few weeks I have lost to friends one at work and the other a young 22 year old who fought a courageous battle with a similar cancer. I have been having digestives issues and a nasty taste in my mouth my tongue has a white coating and everything tastes like the coating. I brush my tongue and try to get rid of the coating but is comes right back within an hour.   

3-27-2012

Yesterday was a good day Jan asked me to drop off some papers at her school. What a surprise this was to me I had the opportunity of meeting staff, teachers and other administrators. Jan works with some truly great people who have been a real support to both of us. I came home and spent the rest of the day just sleeping, something I do real well at.  

3-26-2012

Another day, I was looking forward to some sunshine and wanted to spend a little time outside with my mask. Oh well we do need the moisture and it will give me a chance to catch up on some reading. With this being Monday Jan was off to work and the silence is driving me nuts I do miss Jan hardy laugh it always puts a smile on my face. I went to the white board we have and wrote “Don’t ask what your husband can do for you!  Ask what you can do for your husband.” Jan response was just what I was hoping for she had a good laugh.

3-25-2012

I tried to help Jan with the domestic chores outside wearing my mask. Oh how soon I found out that I cannot keep up with her and I wear out so fast. I was not even able to make it a full hour. What I am going to do and how long will it take me to fully recover if that is at all possible. Jan is such a sweet heart she never complains and just does everything I can’t I feel so bad about her doing all she does. Jan has an excellent attitude and brings so much to the table in our marriage.

3-23-2012

Yesterday was a good day I am getting a little bit stronger each day and before I know it I will be back to work. Then one year left to work and I will retire. Hard to think it has been almost a year since I was diagnosed and started treatment as a stage for cancer patient. This has been a most interesting journey and how blessed I am to live in a day of modern medicine.

3-22-2012

Yesterday was a good day with the doctor she had no idea what might be the cause of what appears to be an infection. She did provide me with medication that I am taking four times a day in hopes that it will chance the course of my life. I am so thankful for modern medicine it can help. I want to do more and be outside more but that is not happening since I am so vulnerable with a weak immune system.

3-21-2012

Today I see my cancer doctor and hope she can find a solution for my stomach issues. This will be a great relief and will give me peace of mind. It is hard to believe that it has been almost a year since I found out I had cancer. I have been working very hard this past week to gain strength however Jan, can still toss me around like a rag doll. I bet if I gain the 48 pounds I lost and just rest she would have a much harder time. Well I have no desire to gain the weight again. I hope I have a good report for tomorrow.

3-20-2012

Tomorrow I get to go back to the doctor I have been having some issues for over three weeks and sure hope there is a remedy for the situation I have. I am still very thankful for the extension of life that I have and for the medical teams at the Huntsman Cancer Hospital. I don’t know what I would have done without family and friends they have been the glue that has kept me going.

3-18-2012

Jan, took me for a short trip out of town we left on Wednesday and got back home today. What a pleasure to be with such a kind and loving wife. She took real good care of me and the warmer weather was just what the doctor ordered. I came home to find out that a gentleman I worked with a year younger than myself had just passed away. How fortunate I am to be here I thank my Heavenly-Father for the extended life.

3-13-2012

Jan will have a few days off so we can spend some time together this is the most exciting thing I have to share at this point and time. I am just afraid that she will not want me doing much. Oh well Sunday we got into a little wrestling match and as we started she said I will beat you. I thought no way well I found out even though I thought I was stronger she had no problem defeating me. I won’t tell you how bad that was and what a blow to my male ego.  

3-12-2012

Well I am finally up and moving this infection sure has taken a toll on my body. I am having some depression along with it hoping it will go away and it just wants to hang around. I would take the kidney stones at least they go away. I truly need to get focused as I don’t feel like I am accomplishing a thing. The cabin fever is starting to get to me and I just want to be well enough to do something I am getting bored this is harder than going to work.

3-11-2012

Another day has come and gone and nothing new to report. I have found that my life is very boring and wearing a mask all the time when on occasion I venture out in public just annoys small children. Children point and say look at that man he has a thing on his face. They are so innocent I cannot feel alarmed at all.  

3-10-2012

Today is another beautiful day just like spring outside. I love these days and look forward to getting out and going for a walk. I will be glad when this intestinal infection is gone it keeps me close to home. Nice to have a full day to spend with Jan we have not planned what we are going to do today. I am getting a little stronger each day what a blessing to be here at this time.

3-9-2012

Today is no different than what yesterday was. My condition is the same and the day is going to be warmer and we know that spring is on the way. What a great time of year and this morning I could even hear the birds singing.

3-8-2012

It is another day and I sure hope this medication does its thing real soon. I love looking out the window and seeing the sun. Knowing spring is just around the corner makes me feel so good. It is my favorite time of the year when everything comes alive. Not much else to report other than I am thankful for all the great people in my life.

3-7-2012

Just got back from the Huntsman Cancer Hospital seeing my doctor arrived at the hospital at 7:15 a.m. this morning.  Well the good news the kidney stones have passed the bad news is I have another intestinal infection and my white blood cell count has dropped other than that I am in great shape for what I have been through.

3-6-2012

Well today is a good day to be out of the gravel business. From all I can tell the kidney stones passed late yesterday. I love giving up those little stones who would have known that something so small could cause sooo much pain? Well I understand and now I have kidney stones as another great accomplishment in my life. Hard to believe that I have dealt with these little bumps in the road this past year. I am thankful to be here and see grandchildren, children and my good wife.

3-5-2012

Every day is a blessing just to be living things started to change yesterday. I went to the hospital as I was passing blood and they kept me until midnight and sent me home. After they had given me three nice packages of fluids and said this should get the kidney stones rolling. Oh believe me it did at 4:30 I woke up with back pain and it has not gone away. This is good news the kidney stones are rolling right through my body. The pain is a welcome sign and will be more welcome when it is gone.

3-4-2012

Had a somewhat sleepless night for about an hour some pain in the back and then I took a pain pill and slept until 11:30 this morning. Got up feel very weak and tired I think it all goes with the territory. Will be glad when Jan gets home I do miss her but hope she is having a good time. Not much to report today it is a beautiful day outside.   

3-3-2012

Still no progress on the kidney stones, I have decided not to worry about it and I will just let things run their course. I am dealing fine with any pain that is associated with the stones and it is not worth the worry. So today I am going to refocus my attention to things that are more important.

3-2-2012

Well another day and not changes in the kidney stone. We have not been getting phone calls and then found out our land line is not working. So if you would like to get in touch with me please call my cell phone. Sure is quiet without the phone calls also we can’t call out hope to get it fixed by the time the kidney stones pass.

3-1-2012

They kidney stones have found a happy home and are moving a little causing some pain. I will go to the hospital today to see if they can get find these little things a new home. I am dealing okay with the pain and I have not been using any pain medication. What a blessing kidney stones are they just add insult to cancer no big deal.                           

         

2-29-2012

Another day of staying home and having cabin fever, I sure do want to get out and do something. I am feeling better and I have not collected the kidney stone so I ask myself what is up with that? Oh well at least I am getting better a little bit at a time. I can’t be in public because my immune system is so weak.

2-28-2012

I am so perplexed about the kidney stone the pain comes and goes and I just can seem to get rid of it. I will be in contact with my doctor today to see what he says I should do I would think it should have moved by now. Or maybe the emergency room just did not diagnose it right. Oh well just a little bump in the road.

2-27-2012

All I can say is that kidney stones are anything but a man’s best friend.  The pain is so bad today I can’t think of it getting any worse. I am trying to be a man about this but I am not doing very well the pain is so intense that I am just sick to my stomach. I was very slow getting up this morning not a good sign. I want relief but was told it would come once the kidney stones pass oh great. This feels like it has been an eternity.

2-26-2012

Friday I came down with a terrible pain on my right side and the pain would not go away so I drove myself to the emergency room and after a few tests the doctor came back and told me I had a kidney stone. Great now what do I do just go home and wait it should pass in a few days. Well Friday I had lots of pain and so did I on Saturday I am feeling a bit better today but I have not been able to collect the stone yet. This is truly a painful experience.

2-24-2012

I find it amazing how fast time flies even when you are not busy doing things that you like to do. It has been almost nine months since I found out I had cancer and what a journey it has been. It is hard to believe I have been through everything I have. It is almost like a bad dream and I am so thankful for modern medicine, family and friends.

2-23-2012

I am so blessed with a good family, great wife, friends and work associates. Life under the circumstances of the past eight months could not have been better I have been carried by these great individuals and this is the most humbling experience anyone could ever have. My life has been blessed in many ways and the love I have felt is second to none I have ever felt before. I have made many mistakes and love and forgiveness have been the keys to a healing soul. I love the Savior and all he has done for me, which I will never be able to repay him. I strive to be the person he wants me to be but know no matter how hard I work to become that person I will fall short of everything he has done for me.  

2-22-2012

Today I had the opportunity and privilege of going to my cancer doctor again. She said she is pleased with my progress and wants to see me again in two weeks. This was great news she also told me to back off until May on my colonoscopy since my immune system could not deal with it. Great news who wants to go through all the prep but I do need to complete it so I will take advantage of that opportunity in May. Jan is there supporting me all the way she just smiles when they say I will need another procedure and I just wince at the thought of another procedure. Oh well I am still here something I never thought I would be here to see.  

2-21-2012

Yesterday was a great day we had a visitor and Jan was home to celebrate President’s Day. I was not up to much we left for about an hour and came back home. I am still struggling with stomach issues and it takes a drain on my energy. My life is actually real boring and will not change much. But boring is okay at this age.

2-21-2012

Yesterday was a great day we had a visitor and Jan was home to celebrate President’s Day. I was not up to much we left for about an hour and came back home. I am still struggling with stomach issues and it takes a drain on my energy. My life is actually real boring and will not change much. But boring is okay at this age.

2-20-2012

I have been struggling with stomach issues and depression for about a week and just can’t seem to shake either one. I try to keep busy and focused and that has helped in the past I am also taking medication and that does not seem to help. I don’t want to get up and face the day but I do because I know things will not improve if I stay in bed. My body trembles like crazy and I have been having some dizziness which seems to be a factor. All in all I am thankful and pleased with everything and just can’t put my finger on the reason for the depression and panic attacks.  

2-19-2012

My heart is still full of joy seeing the twins yesterday they are so cute, loveable, friendly and full of energy Brian and Amber are great parents doing an excellent job with these two. They are also very patient with each other and the twins. What a great day it was to be around them I would love to be their baby sitter on a full time basic. Not often you see two year olds that are this sweet.

2-18-2012

Yesterday was a good day but did not even compare to today. Today Jan and I had the privilege of visiting Brian my youngest son his wife Amber and their twins. There is nothing like two year olds both a boy and girl. It made my day and was so exciting to see them first time since Christmas. They are talking up a storm and did not actually know how to deal with Grandpa Dale, I had my mask on and it was disturbing to them but by the time I left they were comfortable with me.

2-18-2012

I have an appointment with a doctor that specializes in radiology he will be running an exam to see if I have any traces of cancer and will determine if I need radiation treatment. For the most part I think this is just a precaution and will function as a safety net. Life is so good when you have a great wife like I do Jan is the best and I hope I don’t embarrass her. I love her so much and she is so kind and understanding of my life is great when you have of wife like Jan and a husband like me.   

2-16-2012

Yesterday was another good day I can tell I am getting stronger and feeling better.  Had a few issues with my stomach but other than that I was okay. I am getting to the point that I want to get out of the house and go for a ride or do something. I have been cooped up since late July and now I am ready to go but with my immune system being what it am my doctor does not want me to compromise myself which is very hard. So I spend the majority of my time at home or going to the doctor’s office and medical labs for tests. Which is probably a good thing since I always get myself in trouble when I am out in public?

2-15-2012

Yesterday was an uneventful day, somewhat low on the energy but very thankful to have been here for another Valentine’s Day. Jan makes me so happy she has a great sense of humor that just keeps me going. I love her laugh and positive attitude along with her being to articulate and a great culinary artisan. This is a great time to be alive and happily married to the woman of my dreams.  

2-14-2012

Yesterday was a good day I left the house for about an hour. I can’t have flowers in the house and I know Jan loves roses. Knowing Valentine’s Day is this week I decided that Jan needed an opportunity to have some roses so I wanted to surprise her and went to the flower shop to get some roses. Well I was not the only person in line and I got caught she called me on my cell phone. I answered and she said do you have company and I said know then she said are you watching TV and I said know then she said I hear voices and I said that is right I am at the store getting you something I will be at your school in 10 minutes. Well I got caught and it was no surprise Jan seems to always catch me and I don’t get to surprise her.

2-13-2012

Another day in my slow recovery process from chemo and I am amazed at what a beating I actually took. I do feel a little bit better each day and I am so thankful for life, friends, family and the greatest work associates ever. This has truly been a humbling experience for me and I know how fragile like can be. I want to enjoy each day to its fullest and be the best I can be. In looking back I remember a statement that fits me so well “The older I get the better I know I use to be”.

2-12-2012

Yesterday was a good day got out and did a few things went grocery shopping with Jan and then to a movie something we have not done for a real long time. Came home and spent time doing a few chores and eating the best home cooked meals Jan has turned into a real culinary artesian she is a great little chef. Well what more could I ask for I am so blessed and the sad thing was we did not have one visitor all day.  

2/9/2012

Yesterday was a most interesting day felt sick to my stomach and then my wife Jan came home and picked me up off we went to the doctor. My mind tells me I can do things but my body says I can’t and not much energy. Sleeping all day is getting old and I want to be a productive person feeling like I can add something to this world. Then I have chemo brain dysfunctions and can’t speak to write like I would like to. This is very discouraging to me at the present time. Yet I have so much to be thankful for and the one gift I would like to have it the ability to write and speak in an organized manner.

2-7-2012

ch day it seems like I make a small step forward, did leave the house three times went for a ride with a friend, went to the doctor with Jan and dropped off out taxes. Sure felt like a whole lot walking up steps is still very hard but I made it. I spent a few minutes on the computer yesterday still a lazy person not accomplishing a whole lot but making an effort to get stronger.  

February 6, 2012

Well today is my first day flying solo since about December 14, 2012. I miss Jan more than I thought I would and she has only been gone about an hour. Jan, bless her little heart has done so much for me during this past eight months she deserves an award for being the best wife a guy could ever want to have. I have been so blessed I am starting to feel better. I went to church yesterday and it was great to see so many good friends and people did not feel strong enough to stay and left early came home and fell asleep. I love you all and know how blessed I am and I am thankful for all your prayers.

February 2, 2012

I had a good day yesterday went for a walk and found out what little strength I truly have. I just keep hoping that I can get stronger each day and I know what a slow process this is going to be. I am still having challenges with nausea even when I take the medicine designed for it. I just hope that I will be able to get over the sickness I feel each day it is a bit overwhelming.

February 1, 2012

Wow, this has been a rollercoaster of a ride. I had no idea how bad things could get after the bone marrow transplant. I have been so weak and the nausea has not gone away. Don’t get me wrong on this I am so thankful for all the blessings that I have had and all the support it makes things so much easier. I am so thankful to Jan my wife she has been at my side for the past two weeks she is a much better wife than I could ever think of being a husband. I always thought I could be a better husband but now she has done so much for me I could never repay her for all she has done and how she has done it just blow my mind. I love her and appreciate her so much more. I am so blessed.

January 24, 2012

Well I have been home almost a week and today if the first day I have had any energy and also the first day that I have felt relief from both nausea and diarrhea. I have been so sick with the nausea and diarrhea that I had almost given up hope of ever getting better. Both started on December the 29 with the chemo and I had no let up until today. I must admit I had no idea it would take so long after transplant to start to feel better. I now fully understand why the doctor said I would not be able to report back to work until at least the 1^st of May. I miss working and being around all the good people I have had the privilege of working with. I look forward to getting well I know I have a few procedures left ahead and do look forward to being outside in the good weather.