December 29, 2011

Yesterday we were at the hospital meeting with the bone marrow team and I will enter the Hospital tomorrow for more chemo which they said would be more of a challenge than any chemo treatment I have received. Then they will start the bone marrow replacement process. I will be in the hospital for at least 21 days the longest stay yet. With this in mind I won’t blog after today. This has been quite the process and I am so thankful for all the support from friends, family, co-workers and all the medical personnel I would not be here without all the support and love that has been shared and given to both Jan and I. I wish everyone a very Happy New Year and hope it is the best New Year of your life.  My next blog should be on or about January 20, 2012.

December 28, 2011

Yesterday was another great day Lisa my daughter and her family came over and we had a great visit her children are truly the best. It was a most delightful visit and we hated to see them leave. All four of Lisa and Clay’s children are just great and the oldest Caylor, a 13 year old has matured so much since we last saw him. Brodie, is 12 and what a mature 12 year old. Then Houston once he has his mind on something he just sticks with it he is seven and as solid as a rock. Then Eden the six year old girl, as beautiful as a summer sunset with a slight over cast and as bright as Einstein she is one amazing little girl.   

December 27, 2011

Well yesterday was my lazy day just did not do too much just rested a great deal and wanted to prepare for today. Lisa and her family will be coming over and I want to be able to spend some time with them. Lisa and Clay are ideal parents and have done a great job in raising their children. I think they could write a book on it and start their own talk show. I do feel a bit stronger than I have in the past and we went to the mall for a short while today to see what good sales they might have. Well we did not see a whole lot but picked up a few things.

December 25, 2011

Yesterday was a good day, had an increase of energy and helped Jan clean the house I vacuumed the floors both upstairs and in the basement. We had dinner at Jan’s Mom’s and with her sister, her husband and son. It was a very pleasant and most enjoyable day. What is nice is the days are getting longer and in three months we will have the first day of Spring.

Decembere 24, 2011

Today is a good news day the results of the biopsy of the colon showed that the tumors we pre-cancerous and one more chemo and I will be on my way to the bone marrow replacement program using my own stem cells. We feel a feeling of relief what good news that was. The tumors are not something the doctor was familiar with.

December 23, 2011

Just got up and I am on my way back to the hospital for a series of tests for the bone marrow replacement therapy program. Jan gave me the shot this morning for the blood clots will be taking them twice a day every 12 hours. Slept well last night going without food and all the prep for the colonoscopy took its toll. So I Christmas Eve, Eve day Jan and I will have a most uneventful day.  

December 22, 2011

This has been a truly different day. Yesterday I got a phone call telling me to be at the Huntsman hospital one hour earlier so we get there at 7:00 A.M. and then I was told I had been bumped to 10:00 A.M. finally at 11:00 they take me in for my colonoscopy. When it was done the doctor said some of the growths in the colon looked normal and he removed them and others looked cancerous. Oh well not that much of a surprise so I go to get the dressing on my chest changed and the nurse thought I should get my labs while I was there. When the labs were complete my cancer nurse came to tell me the results and looked at my neck and thought I had a blood clots in my neck and sent me to the University of Utah to have it looked at oh well they verified that I had a blood clot in my neck and back to Huntsman we went. I am now taking shots every 12 hours in hopes it will get rid of the blood clots in my neck.

I am still thankful for life and all these experiences. There is always hope and I have been blessed so I will keep on the path and try to make a full recovery. I will know more next week on Wednesday or Thursday. Finally we got home at 6:30 P.M.

December 21, 2011

This is the good news day. Yesterday I had the privilege of having two of my children here for a Christmas visit with their children and all six of the grandchildren ranging in age from one to thirteen got along very well. I know they were more excited about seeing each other than seeing Grandpa and Grandma. They were great and we hated to see them leave.

The next good news story is that this is the shortest day of the year and it won’t be long and Spring will be here. I always look forward to the days getting longer. It is always good news to me.

The next good news story is tomorrow I will have completed my colonoscopy and won’t need to do it again for a while. Finally the last good news story is I have less than a month to wait until I have been married to Jan for 20 years. Not something I have looked forward to I have enjoyed 99% of the 20 years with her Jan has been an amazing wife!

December 20, 2011

Yesterday I was just plain worn out and did not blog. Today is going to be a great day Lisa and Brian are bringing their families to the home at the same time so we will have six beautiful grandchildren ranging from the age of one to thirteen in the house at the same time. Jan has been planning the food for the day and is just as excited about it as I am. They bring so much joy into our lives. This will be like Christmas day for us.

December 18, 2011

Had a good night’s sleep and yesterday was a very restful day. Thankful for all my many blessings friends, family, employment and all the good people in my life. I have so many things to be thankful for even the hard time and the times I am put down and told I have not been the best at numerous things. Life has its challenges but the greatest ones are the ones I have chosen. I am thankful for this time of year and all that Christmas is about.

December 17, 2011

Jan was sick yesterday and stayed home. It was a very quiet day and we were blessed to have five visitors. I had two individuals I work with that drove all the way from Hill AFB to see me and gave me a gift something I will cherish for a long time.

Well the good news is that the PET scan and bone marrow biopsy both looked very good now I am in hopes that my colonoscopy is good this time they found cancer last time in my colon so I have my fingers crossed. If it all looks good only one more chemo before I go to the bone marrow replacement team.

So it this all works out what a Merry Christmas this will be I am ahead of schedule and might see and participate in a beautiful Spring my favorite time of the year. I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.   

December 15, 2011

Yesterday went well the best I have felt in a couple of weeks. I am still very weak but encouraged by the way I was feeling. I don’t have a lot of energy but have several things I want to accomplish. I am thankful to still be here and look forward to completing all the medical treatments that are ahead.

Today I go back to the hospital for someone tests and will find out the results of the PET scan and the bone marrow biopsy. Hope all goes well and then next week I complete the colonoscopy what fun.  But it has been six months since I was told I have cancer and to think I have made it this far. I have not done it alone I have had the support of a number of great people including friends, family, co-workers and those in the medical arena.

December 14, 2011

I am so thankful to have the tests yesterday over with. I see the doctor tomorrow to find out the results and I hope they are good. If so I only have one more chemo treatment if not I will have three more. I was so tired when we got home I went right to bed and slept for 12 hours.

Hard to believe it is December 14, 2011 already so many things I wish I could do but things are what they are. Still very thankful for friends and family.

December 12, 2011

Today was another day of going to the Huntsman Cancer Hospital. We made it home and tomorrow I will be going to IHC in Murray for a PET scan in the morning and then at 3:00 P.M. I am scheduled for a bone marrow biopsy at Huntsman. I know I will be all worn out by time I get home then one more test on December 22, 2011 and I will know the next step in the process. Yesterday it was the 19^th anniversary of my mother’s passing a couple of days of reflection.

December 11, 2011

My life is so full of blessings and I am so thankful to still be here. I am thankful for family and friends who call and support me through this process. I know I have said it before but the strength and courage I get from them is second to none.

I am thankful for mentors I have had many good one and have been carried by them in my life both at work, school, church, community at in the home. Life is good and better when we see the beauty around us.

Oh I forgot to talk about my health, I feel a little stronger today and it is going to be another beautiful day.

December 10, 2011

It has been an exciting week no energy and then being admitted to the hospital again. This time I was in having labs drawn when I passed out and when I came to talk about a whole bunch of people standing around waiting for the next thing to happen. I ended up with some serious blood issues and another infection. I am home am feeling very weak and sure hope I don’t wind up back in the hospital again.

This has been one exciting ride just when I think I am doing okay the cancer horse starts bucking and I have a hard time staying on. Oh well I am back on the horse and hope to be doing better. Sure glad Jan stayed home with me on Wednesday who knows where I would have been if she had not been here.

December 2, 2011

I just never know how I am going to feel, yesterday was a hard day and I felt sick most of the day could not sleep.  Today I am week and sick to my stomach no idea what is going on sure was in hopes this was behind me. Very weak and tired also my legs are numb and feel like I have pins and needles in them. With a little luck this should all turn around I hope in the next 24 hours.

I am so thankful to Jan she keeps pulling me though the tough times like this. I don’t have any energy and I hate doing nothing all day she helps me accomplish the things I need to what a great wife and I am so blessed. I can’t wait to get well so I can be of some help to her.

December 1, 2011

I think I may have completed my last chemo treatment. I won’t know for sure until the 23 of this month. I have several tests left to be administered and then I will know the status. If not I will have two chemo treatments left to go. I am looking forward to getting the stem cell replacement started. It sure is getting old and I have cabin fever and truly want to be of some value.

I am so thankful things have progressed as well as they have and getting rid of the infections was truly a great blessing. The infection complicated things so much I thought that it was just part of the chemo. I am looking forward to the Christmas Holidays and it is good to be back home again.

November 24, 2011

Yesterday I was excited about having another chemo session, however after my labs and seeing Doctor Martha Glenn I was rejected as my blood was just too sweet for this next session so I was returned to my home to spend the next two days with my favorite cell mate Jan. I am very weak but so thankful for all the many blessings in my life.

I am thankful for all the great people in my life including all the new technologies related to medicine making this process bearable. I wish you all a great Thanksgiving Holiday and may the Lord bless you as he has me.

November 22, 2011

Yesterday was a much better day felt better and was active, talked to several people on the phone, had visitors left with one and went for a ride while I was gone had three more sets of visitors wish I had been here to see them they all left notes in a little box on the front porch.

I cannot ask for anything with all the kindness love and support I keep getting this is so helpful and the encouragement and hope just keep me going. I cannot express in words how thankful I am to all in my life.

November 21, 2011

Saturday was a great day had visitors which always makes the day good. Have been very weak and tired not doing much. There is not much to report as far as accomplishments go. However I am so thankful for kindness and understanding that I find in my life. It is times like this that you truly learn who you friends are and find out how blessed you truly are.

One thing that did take place Dave my neighbor who has done so much for me and has checked in on me more than once a day since this started and has given me shots and gone beyond the call of duty in taking care of me has been hospitalized. Please in your prayers pray for Dave the Lord will know who you are talking about.

Novmber 19, 2011

It has been two days without any sleep; I am awake all the time. Yesterday was not one of my better days had stomach cramps and chest pain. Finally when Jan came home we went to the Huntsman Cancer Hospital. They checked me out and sent me home with a kit to administer some additional tests. I am still sick to my and want to throw up but I don’t have anything left. Oh well I am going to be positive and hope this will soon pass and I will fell as good as a cancer patient can feel.  

November 18, 2011

Yesterday was somewhat challenging as I felt sick all day and nausea was my constant companion. Seems like with cancer there is always a side effect and you never know how you are going to feel. I woke up felt okay and then took some medication and it was all downhill from there.

If I can fall asleep I hope to be able to do a few things tomorrow like read and maybe spend a little time on the computer. I do have some visitors coming all the way from Boise, Idaho. I have not seen them for almost two years and it will be good to see them again. They are a special family in our lives and have been involved with us for the past 18 years.

I am thankful to be here and have made the progress this far through my chemo treatments. Had no idea how tough it could be and how much visits and phone calls would be to keep me going and give me the hope and will to live.

November 17, 2011

Well I made it to the Huntsman Cancer Hospital and back. The only issue I have been having is a lot of back pain and I can’t sleep and a cold. No idea where I picked up the cold. Just not feeling well but will work my way through this as I don’t want to have my next chemo pushed back.

I am looking forward to being strong enough to do some reading today which I have not done for almost a week. Jan seems to be handling all this very well and is as busy as ever with all the things she needs to do. I never know how she gets everything done that she does. I am so lucky to have her as my wife and companion.

It was good to have visitors yesterday they always make me feel better and I love seeing friends and family. Then energy they pass on is second to none.

November 13, 2011

Has been a most interesting had a great visit with my daughter and she took me to see my youngest son and his home in Roy. I have not been out of Salt Lake County since 26 July 2011. He has done a marvelous job on his home restoring it to its glory days. Brian’s children are so full of energy it was great just watching them the joy you get from grandchildren is second to none. We came home and Jan attended to her duties at the High School while Lisa and I had a most incredible visit. Lisa brings so much joy into our lives. I cannot thank her and her husband Clay enough for sending Lisa out for a great and most rewarding visit.

November 12, 2011

 am having trouble trying to sleep and felt like I needed to share some of the feelings I am currently having. I spent 23 years working in the criminal justice system. Most of the time was spend dealing with crime and individuals who had committed felonies. It seemed like a very negative and at times a hopeless profession and you were always on guard and had to be ready for negative things in your life. My outlook was not so positive looking back. I was dealing with the dark side of society driven my Satan. Today I see so much good and I know there are terrible things taking place that we see in the news every day. However I have felt the love of the Savior in my life and the love of a kind and dear Heavenly-Father. The kindness and love that has been shared with Jan and I is what the Gospel of Jesus Christ is all about. We see so much good and have been blessed to be the recipients of this goodness. It comes from the staff and the nurses at the hospital, neighbors, work associates and even strangers we have been given so much in these last several months my gratitude cannot be expressed in words alone. I am blessed and want to share my feelings tonight.

Yesterday my daughter Lisa came in from Kentucky and is providing a most valuable service to us and is assisting both Jan and I in a little business adventure. I don’t need to worry about the process involved and can place all my trust and faith in both Jan and Lisa. This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to both Lisa and Jan. Although Lisa lives in Kentucky the strength, love and support she has provided me has been most influential and helpful. Lisa is a great mother, wife and most of all the best daughter anyone could ever want. Lisa’s visit will be short but always in my memory bank. I am so blessed to have such a good wife and daughter.  

November 10, 2011

Came home from the hospital yesterday, this has been the best I have been since I started my chemo treatment. I have been almost a month without going to the Emergency Room. Also it has been over three weeks since my last blood transfusion something that has not taken place before. When I left the hospital yesterday they told me my blood levels are dropping and I will most likely need a transfusion within a week. But since the infections I have had since my second treatment have been cleared up it is amazing how much better I am actually doing. Finally I have a little energy I could not do anything for more than 20 minutes and I needed to rest or sleep. I am so thankful how much better I am feeling and was told I am doing great and it appears I am ahead of schedule in my treatment. I met another person who has the same cancer as I have and he only gets four days of chemo and is in stage four and I get eight days of chemo so I guess the duration of time I am getting my treatment is doing the job. Dr. Glenn told me if it is an aggressive cancer they treat it aggressively. So with all the prayers that have been offered I am still here and very thankful for all the love, support and service that has been given to both Jan and I.

November 1, 2011

I feel like I have accomplished something great it has been two weeks without going back to the hospital or the emergency room. This is something that has not happened since July 27, 2011. I am so totally thankful for all the love and support that has been given to both Jan and I.

I am having a hard time trying to sleep and this cancer is always on my mind and I think of the consequences that are involved.  I think about the next eight days of chemo and how I will feel during and when it is done and wonder how weak I will truly get before things turn around. I am so thankful for modern medicine or I would not have any hope at all. Well this will be my last blog for about nine days as I get ready to enter the hospital again tomorrow.

October 31, 2011

Yesterday was a good day remained home and everything was very quiet had one visitor could always use more. Saturday had several and it helps pass the time and I always feel better when someone comes by. Just finished all my antibiotics and I sure hope the infection is gone. That will resolve a number of issues I have had since I started chemo. I don’t know what my white blood cell count is like but I hope and pray that it is coming up and the infection is gone.

I am still amazed at everything Jan gets done even when she is taking care of me. I love her and appreciate the fact that she never complains about my situation. She is so uplifting and makes this process bearable.

October 28, 2011

This infection business is not something a cancer patient is very patient about. Just to think of a one week delay in treatment when treatment seems like an eternity can be frustrating. However I know this is for the best and as such I need to accept it Wednesday will be here before I know it and Jan can come home to a home untouched by husband hands. Jan is doing a superb job of taking care of me. I miss taking her shopping and picking out things for her. It is amazing how much the simple little things are missed. Each day Jan gets released for work released while I am confined to the home and each day I look forward to her work release being over so we can spend some good time together. I like having visitors at the jail here sure makes the time go faster.

October 27, 2011

Things don’t always turn out like you plan. I was rejected at the hospital yesterday after my labs were done. I still have an infection and the chemo and antibiotics don’t work well together so I was sent home. This will delay the process for another week. I have mixed emotions about it but I need to follow doctors’ orders. I am trying to have a good attitude about this sure am getting tired of being home bound.

The two best parts of being home are first when Jan walks through the door and I have my wife to talk to. Second when we get visitors this always lifts my spirit. I am so thankful for good friends or people who have the duty to come and see it and make us feel so much better.

October 25, 2011

Still fighting the infection with two IV drip lines daily and three tablets sure which I could get on top of this. Well I made it almost a week without any blood and tomorrow I will start my next eight days of chemo this will be over 800 hours completed with this eight days is over. I don’t look forward to it because of the way it makes me feel and I get weaker each time. Then on the hand I look forward to it because it will be get me closer to the end I will have 42% of my treatments done after this next eight days.

October 24, 2011

Well I have one more day home after today and then it is back to the hospital for eight days of chemo. Yesterday was a very pleasant day my youngest son Brian and his wife Amber came to see us and they brought the twins Austin and Brighton a boy and a girl they are so fun to watch and see how they grow and interact with each other and us also. I sure am feeling my age now and then with the chemo I sure don’t have any energy. I don’t know if is the medication I am taking also. Sure would be nice to be able to do a few things. Just writing this blog has taking me an hour.  I am so thankful for all the blessings I have in my life.

October 23, 2011

Another day free from the hospital and I am so thankful I hope I can make it until I start my next round of eight days of chemo. I have a new companion now constant nausea and the food I used to like has not appeal. Yesterday was another good day we had visitors and a good friend who came over and took care of our yard. I love having visitors they lift me and give me so much hope. Well I am exhausted and need to get some rest so I am signing off for today.

October 22, 2010

Yesterday was a better day I was weak but able to focus. Today I feel a little better and will send out a few e-mails and answer questions I have received. I am so thankful for the visitors who have come and spent time with both Jan and I the past few days. This has been great and I get so much from these visits everyone is welcome in our home. That will change in the next few months as cold weather comes upon us I have been told I will need to avoid children under the age of 14. This is very difficult I have enjoyed the babies that have been here along with the little toddlers. The Fall colors looks to beautiful and the community garden across the street is about history. I am looking forward to next Spring it is one of my most enjoyable times of year. Well it is time I should start on the e-mails.

October 20, 2011

At last after five days of being in the hospital with blood and infection issues I get to come home for five days. Then I go back and start eight days of chemo. Not something I look forward to but each one brings me closer to the day I can be well again. I was allowed to come home only if I would allow home health care to come in each day and administer antibiotics through an IV that is not big deal I jumped at the chance. It was a hard five days and yesterday they told me I could not come home today but we worked out a deal. Also I love being around Jan.

October 15, 2011

Yesterday was another lazy day for me not doing much but feeling okay. Had some great visits and one I truly enjoyed a relative came with their children who are so darling what a great lift that was. Their children just lifted my spirits along with Mom and Dad. There is nothing like young children in your life what joy they do bring. Jan came home and worked so hard doing yard work I am just amazed at her. I am so blessed to have her as my wife, what did I ever do to find such a wonderful woman. Again, I am so thankful for the visits and the lift I get from them. I keep thinking eight more treatments and I am done with chemo.

October 14, 2011

Yesterday was quite the day I knew I was not feeling good and did not know what was wrong I was very weak had to go to Huntsman Cancer Hospital for labs. Well they found it my blood was low in a number of areas and I needed two units of blood. As the day ended I got home at 5:30 P.M. now I am up at 2:30 feeling weak and wondering what today will bring. With all this treatment you just never truly know how you are doing? I know I will need to get some fluids in my system. At least the hours that started being days have now translated into weeks and months so we are seeing some very slow progress. I have constant companions, nausea, diarrhea, pain, sleepless nights, fear, anxiety and weakness. Yet this will all but be a moment in time and the effort I am putting in along with my dear wife and friends will pay off. My goal is to be cancer free like Herman Cain.  

October 13, 2011

Yesterday was a difficult day did not have an appetite and felt sick to my stomach. Sometimes this takes such a different course than I think I am going the recovery has been harder this time. Not only can I tell I am weaker but when I stand I get so dizzy. One thing I am starting to know is that this is going to be the longest year of my life just getting through this and I am determined I need to make it.

I am so thankful for having such a good wife Jan provides me all the support and love anyone could ever ask for. Jan has an outstanding attitude and I could not ask for more she shows strength I never knew she had. How she does all that she does is beyond me. She says she is on auto pilot; however I know her too well and know this is taking a toll on her also. How blessed I am to have the great wife I do.  

October 12, 2011

Yesterday was a great day had visitors and I gee that helps out so much when you are a home bound person. I love having visitors they lift you and the energy that comes is amazing. I truly don’t believe I would have made it this far. After my second treatment I was very ill and did not have the energy to take care of myself, ended up in the emergency room and truly believe that would have been the end if it had not been for all the prayers and caregivers I had that week.

I cannot say enough about all the good people who check on me either by phone or just stopping by to say hello. I have learned so much about visitors both family and friends and just stopping by means so much to me. I love you all and the great support you are to both Jan and I. Our burdens are so much lighter and our life has so much value at this time we are truly blessed. When I am better I have a testimony of service that I don’t think I can match but will do my best to fill.

October 11, 2011

I came home yesterday sick and not doing too well but Jan took care of me and I am doing better today able to keep food down. I feel better but very tired and I am thankful to be home.  The good news story is that I won’t need to go through 18 treatments as initially thought. I have a total of 12 treatments and I am so thankful for this the treatments have been destroying the cancer and this is the good news. This was an early Christmas gift to say the least. I thank you all for your prayers and kindness.

October 5, 2011

Here I am again sleepless night thinking about the next chemo treatment. So tired yet my mind cannot get away from this next treatment. They are so hard and I would like to run away. But running away would only make things worse and would not solve the problem, something I know and fully understand. I am so thankful that this will only be six days the two days does make a difference. Also I love being home with Jan and the love and support she gives me. The hospital time is a lonely time and it plays with your mind. The staff does the best to make you comfortable and I am so thankful to nurses who have a sense of humor and know how to tease and take it back. The laughs that come from this truly help.

I don’t want to forget to mention how tired I was yesterday and then how blessed I was at the same time. I used to be the one to clean the home and how blessed we were to have two great couples leading the charge in coming to our home to clean it. I was amazed at how dirty it was before and how nice and fresh the house was after they had cleaned it and brought dinner over. Jan had Parent and Teachers Conference last night and again tonight so she does not get home until late. The first thing she mention as she walked into the house was how nice it smells in the house and how everything was so shinning. Duh I guess Dale sure knows how to make a mess while she is gone.

Again, I want to thank everyone for their love and support and the visitors I had yesterday. They give me the support and strength to move forward and hope when this becomes such an overwhelming task I admire all who have gone through it and can support and understand those who chose not to do it. My many thanks to all you good people who support both Jan and I and my two children Lisa and Brian.  

October 3, 2011

I am having a hard time sleeping but felt I should take this opportunity to blog. Yesterday was another great day I felt better and had some energy. One of the best parts of the day was having visitors. Both Jan my wife and I noticed how much this lifts the spirits of the home. The best part of the visits was the laughs and the kind and loving feeling it brings into our home. We get so much strength from our good friends, family members, work family members and neighbors. I cannot say how much strength this gives us in so many different ways. Emotionally, physically, mentally, socially and the spiritual lift also. I want to thank you for the energy and hope that comes each time we see one of you. We love you and could not do this without out all of you. This is a harder journey than I ever thought it would be. I love you all and appreciate you so much. I have learned so much about forgiveness with this disease and please forgive me if I have offended any of you. Thank you so much for being my friend.

October 1, 2011

Just got home from the hospital enter through emergency and I am home. Seem to be getting weaker again sure don’t want to go back to the hospital again. Needed two pints of blood and was very ill when I get there Thursday night. This sure is getting old just wish I could gain some strength and be able to do a few things on my own. I am so thankful to Jan and all she does for me. Not much to say other than I am doing my best to just stay out of the hospital and not be too much of a burden. Being a burden that is a laugh but without all the support I don’t think I would have made it this far. Something I sure cannot do on my own.

September 29, 2011

Wow, I finally have enough energy to blog. It was a long night I had lots of pain and was taking pain killlers all day. This is the first time I could get up and write anything. The good news is I have harvested my stem cells. I have several more months of chemo to go and I am truly beat today did not do a thing. Feel sick to my stomach and very weak, not much to say other than I am thankful I had a good collections of stem cells.

September 28, 2011

Can’t sleep in a lot of pain, still passing blood and lower back pain that won’t go away the lower back pain is something new. On a scale of 1 to 10 I am at a 8 and this is after taking pain medication. I was able to harvest stem cells yesterday. I hope I am lucky enough to do it again to do it again today and continue till we have collected enough for my bone marrow replacement therapy.

I know I could never make this without all the support and kindness I have been receiving. I would have thrown in the towel last week when things were so bad and I was in so much pain and feeling so sick and weak. I need to thank everyone who is advocating for me and following up.

It means more than you will ever know just having visitors and phone calls. I am going to take some more pain pills and I hope it will help me sleep. I hope and pray that I might collect all the stem cells I need in the next few days.

September 27, 2011

This has been another tuff night, I am not feeling better and the pain is still there now I have a new complication I started passing blood through my urinary track. I am afraid my white blood cells will take a hit and I won’t be able to provide my stem cells as a result. I am quite discouraged today and have not been able to sleep all night dealing with the pain and the issue of passing blood. My emotional well-being is starting to take a hit also.  I am so thankful for all the support I have and those that keep showing support without it I don’t know where I would be. I don’t truly know how to face book and that I something I am going to work on later today if I get a chance. I don’t know what they are going to do with me today I am afraid my labs will not be anywhere close to where they need to be. I know I was to start chemo again next week, I think this will be pushed back also. This is a much longer and harder journey than I thought it would be. I get lots of rest sitting around but not much sleep. I am on a mild mood enhancer in hopes this will help my emotional health. I love my wife Jan and all the support she is providing and my two children Lisa and Brian not to include those who support Jan and I at work and in the neighborhood.

September 26, 2011

I knew I was not feeling well. Got to the Bone Marrow Transplant lab and I was rejected today cannot give stem cells. My white blood cells were too low along with my platelts which indicates that I don’t have enough stem cells. I was given three shots to boost my bone marrow productions and will get another four tonight.  This is a bit discouraging but not a total surprise today. I have lost my voice again which is not a good sign.

September 26, 2011

Did not sleep well last night the bone pain keep me awake most of the night not to include my emotional feelings about what is going on. Sometimes I don’t think I will make it. Yesterday I went to the Bone Marrow Treatment center for labs. I was told I would hear back within four hours never got a phone call. So today we are to start harvesting my stem cells. I have been taking five very painful shots in the stomach for the past five days and I am out of these shots. I take two in the morning and three at night. The purpose of these shots is to put my bone marrow into overdrive producing about three times as much stem cells as normal. Not know my status and not have a phone call back on my labs is a bit disheartening to say the least. I don’t have a great deal of hope but I am trying to do my best and have a good attitude. This is wearing on my more than I can even share. So much chemo already done and a ton more to go about 2,200 hours more to go it is a great deal of work. The only thing that is keeping me going is my good friends and family that provide so much support. I don’t know how anyone could do this alone. This is the hardest thing I have ever done both mentally and physically and now it is starting to take an emotional toll. I am not sleeping at night and worry about so many other things. The financial cost is getting out of my control; I am looking forward to open season at work and will apply for a second insurance to help defray the cost.

Again as usually my many thanks to those who visit and provide support. I hope the stem cell treatment this week goes well; I will be at the Huntsman Cancer Hospital every day from 0700 A.M. until released. This is a new experience.  

September 25, 2011

Yesterday was another good day not too sick and able to cope with everything that was going on. Today I go back to the Huntsman Hospital for a blood draw to see if I am still a good candidate for my bone marrow replacement therapy, where they will be collecting my stem cells. I sure hope my results are good. Then we will come home.

Yesterday I did get out of the house four about two hours something I should not have done but being cooped up all this time I needed some relief and for the most part I was not involved with crowds or other people.

I am so thankful to Jan and Dave for all the care and time they are giving me. Jan taking care of my three lines cleaning them out and treating them every morning. Dave for giving me shots in the morning and again at night. These are some things that would be almost impossible for me to do myself.

September 24, 2011

Yesterday was a good day and I was in a bit of pain but nothing I could not deal with. Just got home today from the Huntsman Cancer Hospital. Have had my shots and an infusion treatment, I am sick to my stomach and feel a bit weaker but hope this will turn around as the day goes on. I am so tired we got up at 6:00 A:M: to get ready for the day and I feel like I have worked an 18 hour day.

I am so thankful to Dave Harrison for coming over and giving me shots they are very painful and his patience in dealing with me is appreciated more than anyone will ever know. Jan is just a real trooper dealing with this I hate to see it taking her away from the things she needs to work on.

Being a stage four cancer patient is far more comprehensive than I thought it would be. When I consider 13 months of treatment it seems like an eternity. Sometimes I think it would have been easier to just let this run its course. But then I would miss out on so many great things in life if I did not give it a chance.

Hope everyone is having a good day today and I thank you for keeping me in your prayers.

September 23, 2011

Today is another day to celebrate, I am still here working harder than ever to beat this disease and my attitude today is good. I had visitors yesterday and that means so much to me. I come home to a nice tidy house and within an hour it looks like a disaster zone. My medications are all over the place I set up a bed in the living room so I can rest when I am tired. The only problem about being tired is that I am tired all the time. The medication I am taking for harvesting my stem cells is causing some pain but nothing that I cannot deal with I love being home and a year of treatment seems like an eternity. I am so thankful to my wife Jan and her attitude. I tease her and she is so good about it. She is a Doctorial Candidate and has given an ever increasing amount of her time to me which means in turn she has less time to dedicate to her Dissertation.  I could not ask for a better wife. I love talking to my daughter Lisa, she offers words of wisdom all the time and gives me hope and a perspective I don’t have. My son Brian, wow what a great Dad, yesterday we were teasing that if he could have two more sets of twins he could purchase a Mormon assault vehicle. He was so good to laugh and tease right along with me. I love all the good people who are around me and supporting me through this the greatest struggle of my life dealing with physical challenges.

September 22, 2011

This is another day and I am glad to be home, did not sleep very well with everything that is on my mind. This journey although it is about 14 months long seems like an eternity. I would never in my wildest dreams understand all that is involved; I knew I was in a fight but not a fight for my life like I am. This past week I learned some new things about this disease and how hard it is working to take my life and how hard I am trying to overcome and return to health.

I do miss being able to go to work, to mow the lawn and take care of domestic chores. I miss being able to serve others and to walk around confident and feeling okay that life is good and I don’t have too much to worry about. Well then one day it changes and I am still in denial and now this last week it truly set in. I almost wanted to give up on Monday and I am doing my best to change that and to stay in the fight it should be worth it.

I was given extra strength yesterday with three good friends came over to visit and I love them we all have some struggle in our lives and at the same time we care about others where would I be without them. My friends give me hope and faith that it is all worth it. I am constantly tired but working hard to make it through each day.

September 21, 2011

Well I just got home from the Huntsman Cancer Hospital I have completed over 500 hours of chemo. I have over 2,000 left to go. I get chemo 24/7 when I am in the hospital. This was my third time and Monday I was ready to just call Jan and tell her to come and pick me up it was so hard. I had another two units of blood again this time and was so sick and in a great deal of pain as well. Then yesterday came and I said well it is not so bad today maybe I can make this another eight months. Eight more months of chemo seems like an eternity. I want to have a good attitude but Monday was not a good day for me. The minutes seemed like days and the day felt like an eternity. I just wanted out in the worst way, but then 24 hours later and I am saying I will give it another go. I have 18 chemo treatments for a total of 126 days of chemo 24/7. I have now completed a total of 20 days. When it gets below 100 I hope it will seem manageable. Right now it is the hardest thing I have ever done. I cannot explain how bad chemo can be and when I talk to others and they say oh I had eight treatments for eight hours each I think wow that would be nice. I should not complain I just want to be back to a normal life of going to work and having some of the hassles of life now they don’t look so bad and compared to what I am going through might be a real gift at this time. I want everyone to know how much the visits and phone calls have meant to me. I worry about work and want to return back to work one day I started out with seven months of leave and worry once the leave is gone how are we going to manage things. I guess I will cross that bridge when it comes.

Septtember 13, 2011

It is hard to believe that tomorrow I start another eight days of chemo. I don’t know if I am ready for it or not. It sure takes a toll on a person’s body. I am so weak as it is I just wonder what I will be like in another nine days. I admit I have a great deal of fear about this next round of treatment it is eight days of non-stop chemo. There are so many times I just want to quit and let nature run its course. I knew going into to this that once I signed up it would be a road of no return. If I don’t do it things will not improve and by doing it I will continue to weaken myself. At times this just does not seem like a win win situation. I have faith in the doctors and staff at the Huntsman Cancer Hospital. I also have so many people in the fight with me co-workers those who work with Jan and two of my children Lisa and Brian. I need to do all I can to win this war and each battle I come in contact with. I have survived two battles of treatment and I am still here I must continue to do it I cannot let my family and good friends down. Dave Harrison has been of such great support I don’t want to let him down he has done so much for me and carried me though one of the toughest battles so far. Well I won’t be blogging after today for at least another nine days. Wish me well the first four hours of this round of schedule A treatment is the very worst.

September 12, 2011

Yesterday was a great day for me. It all started in the afternoon with my youngest son Brian and his wife Amber showed up at our home with the twins they are almost 19 months their names are Austin and Brighton and they are the sweetest little children you could ever want to me. Both have the bluest eyes and blond hair. They are very well mannered and just a delight. It is so nice to see them and watch how they develop and talk. Austin is all boy and Brighton is all girl, both are very friendly but cautious. I hated to see them leave they bring so much joy into my life. One more day at home then I get ready to go back to the hospital for eight days of straight chemo. I wonder how I will come out of this next eight days. I am so weak as it is now but I have been told you adjust to it better the second time.  

11 September 2011

Well another day has come and gone and I am still a home bound person. I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired. The past two days things have started to change I can tell I am getting weaker again and this is a concern to me. I don’t know what is going on with my body but do know that I miss doing things I used to do. I often wonder how much longer this will go on and if I will have the energy and health to make it until August 15, 2012 when if all goes well I will get another new lease on life.

All the rest I am getting does help and I am very weak. I love my family and friends and all those who sustain me and give me hope and the desire to carry on. There are so many things I need to get done first of which is my personal history. There is a part of it I don’t want to talk or write about but I know I will need to get started on this part of it if I am going to move forward. It is the ugliest part of my life and I think that is the reason I don’t want to go back and visit it. I just need to man up and face it just like all the things that are hard once you have done it as you look back it was not all that bad.

September 9, 2011

I made it another day and I am so tired today don’t know what is causing this maybe I am getting low on my white blood cells. It seems like all I do is rest and rest more just don’t have any energy to do much of anything.

I am so thankful for being able to eat and that my digestive system is working this is a great gift. I know that on Wednesday next week I got in for eight straight days of chemo not something I am looking forward to. I do know that the chemo is killing the cancer cells and that this is all part of the process.

I respect all those who have gone through cancer treatment before me and have provided additional information for the treatment of cancer. I know it has helped me and I feel so bad for all they suffered so that my treatment would not be so bad. No matter how bad I feel I know it can be worse and there are many who have suffered a great deal more than I have.

I am thankful to a good wife who supports me and does not complain about the attention I need and the support to keep me going. I don’t know how Jan maintains a balance it must be harder on her than it is on me. I love her so much and what a great deal of support she has been. Jan is the best and I am thankful for all who support us at work and church and every other place.

September 6, 2011

Just when I think I am gaining strength my digestive system gets hit again. I am in hopes with the medication I am taking today I can turn it around. This is one of the worst side effects of chemo. I can almost deal with everything else. Once this starts it seems like everything starts going south. I am so thankful not to be in the hospital with complications from these treatments. I am also very nervous about the next chemo treatment it will be eight days of straight chemo and sometimes there will be four different treatments going on at the same time. I keep asking myself will I ever gain back the strength I once had. This process sure makes me tired all the time. When I start to lose my voice I know I am entering the danger zone.

On the brighter side I am so thankful for friends and associates who are willing to call and check up on me. They keep me going and my days are always brighter when this happens.

September 5, 2011

I am amazed at how sick I feel, I had no idea that I would be so week and sick all the time. It is hard to sleep at night and my digestive system is constantly upset. This has been a real drain on my overall quality of life. I have been fighting high blood pressure the last two days and have been retaining lots of water. I am run down and don’t have very much energy.

Now on the brighter side of things I have been blessed to have good visits with friends and neighbors. These are always very up lifting to Jan and I. We love the visit and it is always nice to see friends it amazes me how much everyone lifts me when they walk into the home. I am thankful today is a holiday and that Jan and I can spend one more day together.

Things I miss, one doing yard work, two going to work and being around good people, going to a good restaurant and getting something good to eat, going to a movie with friends, doing house work, going grocery shopping, shopping with Jan for clothes, being around small children and listening to their stories and a nice walk with my good wife Jan.

September 4, 2011

I have lived another day and feel strong enough to write in my blog again. The last time I did was two weeks ago tomorrow. I was so week at that time it took all I could do to just sit up at the computer and write. It was a day after I had come home from my last chemo treatment. The whole week I just kept getting sicker and weaker. My body was not functioning and by Saturday I was running a fever.



So in the afternoon Jan ran me to the University of Utah Emergency Room. I was admitted after nearly waiting two hours. I could hardly walk and had no idea what was going on or how bad my condition was.  I remained there for several hours and they were not able to improve my condition and I was admitted to Huntsman Cancer Hospital.



I knew I was sick and if I ate anything it was through my system within 20 minutes. Then Sunday they came to me and told me that my white blood cell count was at zero and they needed to do a CT scan. They did the CT scan and told me the results were that I had an ulcer in my colon and they were going to start feeding me with an IV.



The next thing I knew the nurses came into my room and told me I was going to get two units of blood. I asked why and they said I had no white blood cells and my red blood cells were low and diminishing. I ask why I what was happening. They said they were trying to find out why and started my two units of blood. After the two units I felt stronger and could talk for the first time. . I had been so week my voice was gone and I could on speak in whispers.



The next morning I was weak again and could hardly talk, my white blood cell count was back to zero and my red blood cell count was very low. I started feeling a loss of hope and truly did not know if I would leave the hospital alive. They gave me two more units of blood I felt better the next morning my white blood cell count was at 300 in needed to be at 1,500 this was a slight improvement considering the four units of blood I had received. The following day for some unknown reason I was at 2,800 and the next day my white blood cell count was at 6,600.



I came home still having issues with my stomach and this is my greatest challenge with the cancer being in my digestive system. I know the reason I am still here is because of all the prayers that have been offered on my behalf. I cannot thank you all enough. I am so thankful to Jan and all she going through just trying to do all she needs to do and then all her work in taking care of me. Years ago she said Dale can you take care of me and I told her she could take better care of herself than I ever could. But deep down inside I wanted to say yes but did not know what that would mean. Well I never thought she would be in a position of being my care taker. I want to thank all who have been taking care of me friends who take care of the yard, those who bring food in, those who clean the house and most of all those who for one week came and gave of their time taking care of me  and watching me so that I would not fall again. I love you all and your unselfish service has not gone unnoticed and is a blessing thank you for the phone calls also.

August 19, 2011

Did not sleep last night starting to get the chills and nausea is returning. Yesterday was one of the better days I have had. The doctors are administering my chemo and adjusting in to my ever changing PH balance was not where it should have been so they had to slow the chemo. I am four hours behind schedule. The next chemo they started me on in conjunction with the first causes burring of the eyes. I am now on eye drops and feel real sick.

August 17, 2011

Yesterday was another beautiful day in my life. This day was not representative of the weather but of the good friends and people who make my life so wonderful.  I was blessed to have a visit from the best the Air Force has to give Andrea, Fran, Susan and Mike traveled all the way from Hill AFB to visit and spend time with me lifting my spirits. Then I had visits from Dave, the Celestial Maids three women who live near me who came and cleaned my home, Frank the best 82 year old man you could ever think of. Then the family who brought dinner and the guests continued. The phone calls to cheer me on with Chemo and all who sustain me. All total there is so much sunshine in my soul today it all comes from all my friends and so many I had no idea I have at all. All I can do is sing praises to the Lord for you love and support. I am a very blessed man and I am so thankful to my worldwide family that provides so much encouragement and the way you have lifted my burden is beyond my wildest dreams and imagination. I have so much joy thank you all for making each day my very best. Well today I will start my next six days of straight chemo so I will sign off until I return home again. I will keep my notebook by my bed and will update when I get home. I love you all and again thanks for making my life so much richer.

August 16, 2011

Today I stand all amazed at the small Christian Army that descended upon my home to take care of things I am no longer able to do. Last night at 7:30 P.M. the Daybreak Young Single Adult Ward’s appeared on our doorstep with the “Rallying Cry” friend, neighbor, and associate elderly gentleman down.  In in a very short period of time my desperate landscape in short order became again one of the better looking landscapes in Daybreak Utah. It might take Desperate Landscapes of HGTV all day to accomplish something like this but it only took these fine and good Young Christian Young Men and Women a little over an hour to accomplish something that would take me a very long period of time to accomplish if I was well. The best part of this is that most often we do a better job of taking care of our yards than anyone else would.

When Jan and I looked at the yard and this small Christian Army how could we ever be think our yard looked good in the past. These youth under the Direction of their Bishop Scott Mayfield and under the leadership of other young single adult leaders from their Elders Quorum Presidency and Relief Society Presidency and other Ward organizations performed a miracle in their service.

This act of love could not be of greater value if it had been performed by our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ himself. I know our Savior of the New Testament is so proud of the service given last night. The testimony of the Savior was in the eyes and directly reflected in their good deeds. Jan and I have been touched and blessed again way beyond what I could ever feel worthy of.

My dear brothers and sisters that compromise the Daybreak 15^th Young Single Adult Ward, my many thanks and love for what you have done. I have a testimony “That Charity Never Faileth”

OUR YARD LOOKS THE BEST! OUR HOA NEEDS TO KNOW OF THIS GOOD DEED.

August 15, 2011

This truly has been on lazy day; I have not had enough energy to do the blog. I get to the computer and I am only here for about a minute and then I am so tired I need get on the bed. My computer is next to the bed here in the bedroom. Well I want to share a little bit about my day yesterday. I felt good enough to go to church for about 35 minutes and then I came home to rest.
Early in the evening we had a great meal prepared by my wife’s good mother and talk about a feast I have not eaten so much in several weeks the food was outstanding we had pot roast with wonderful potatoes, gravy, cooked carrots, beans fresh rolls and desert. I guess I just ate so well that I have not had the energy to do anything else

August 14, 2011

I think I will call today’s entry the “Rallying Cry” You may be asking yourself what has this got to do with all I am going through. As I look back as some of the most discouraging parts of diagnosis, treatment and being sick and weak the one thing that comes to mind is the rallying point. You might be asking yourself what Dale is talking about.

Well when you are diagnosed and find out what is going on it is not the most exciting time in your life. But then again with friends when the rally starts you feel a strength that you never knew you had. This new strength does no come from pity but it come from the battle cry of friends who say. I will be there, let me know what is going on. How are you feeling you are not going to be going through this alone?

When everyone took an active part at work and wore arm bands wow this was an amazing feeling. The best way for me to share this is you have a group of military personnel.  A small squad is off in the distance fighting and they get seriously hit.  It could be hopeless but the rest of the platoon decides to rally and rescue the fallen squad. Then energy level increases for all those going to the rescue and those being rescued. It becomes all for one and one for all and a new commitment to unit and self grows out of a crisis and a new level of trust and binding friendship grows.

This is what I have felt the strength I have does not come from me myself and to know that I will live another day is a great blessing. This” Rallying Cry” from my friends and family has been all I need to keep going.

To all you good friends and those who truly understand thank you so much you are the greatest and I would like to mention names but there are so many of you from all walks of life. Thank you for the great lessons you have been teaching me.

August 13, 2011

I am up again the pain and discomfort is not allowing me to sleep. S such I thought it was good time to write what I am feeling at this time.  I have been asking myself as I get weaker what keeps me going. I could be so discouraged at this point and time. But as I look at it and try to figure where the strength comes to fight this disease and the strength to keep going as I had no idea how difficult this was going to be. Then I know where it comes. It comes from those who truly care about you those that you never ever thought would have cared about you.

It is my world family, who makes up my world family I ask myself? For sure is it is those closest to you in my case my two children Lisa, Brian their families and my good wife Jan.

My strength does not start and end here it goes on it comes from so many truly good people who call and who you know care. It comes from the stranger you don’t know today but you know tomorrow who you have shared some feelings with.

The places I always thought I would get the most support have been most surprising it has not come from them.  My family at work is so good, Jan’s family at work is so good and I never had any idea how great my neighbors would be. Yet today I stand as a witness knowing where it comes from as I have struggled the past few days in the hospital as my tank of energy and home seemed to be diminishing and was wondering how I would do it. I found that I have a reserve tank, this tank is filled with those who keep calling and asking how I am doing how I am feeling and knowing that I have not been well keep calling and offering love and understanding.

My yard concerns me a great deal it used to be my pride and joy having a good looking well-kept yard. I have some bushes that have become over grown and when I came home yesterday from the hospital I saw them and the task was overwhelming. How would I ever get it done and the yard back to shape? This task was too much for me to concentrate on far less something that I can even accomplish.

Then last night I got a call from the Daybreak Young Single Adult Ward, these youth are so great they called and said we need a service project is there some yard work or something we can do. Then they told me they will be over Monday night to take care of my yard. I broke down in gratitude and thanksgiving for their support.

I have found at times like this you truly find out how good people are and how much it means to have friends and family that support you. This is a journey I cannot make on my own regardless of the outcome but the compassion that is being shown is so good. The phone call Dale how are you today and I will call tomorrow to see how you are doing sustains me.

The one thing I am now sorry about it that I did not take more opportunity to serve during my life time. I truly have a testimony of service and how we do adopt others into our families. I want to thank everyone who has called and offered their support and condolences. I want to thank Jan and my extended families of the community for all the great things you have done on our behalf.

I see the world in such different terms. Yesterday as my good friend Bill was driving me home from the hospital I truly understood something else. As a society we move far too fast I was watching the cars speeding in and out of traffic cutting others off failing to signal and said what a different world I am seeing on the road. This is so different from the kindness and understanding I have been feeling at home.

I thought about families and though how often and different they are I have a friend who told me almost every Thanksgiving he hates to get with family there is always an argument and it usually erupts over alcohol. Then I have friends who come from humble backgrounds and they have the strongest of families. In contract when I look at these friends who have talked about why they like or dislike Thanksgiving I see things in a different light. One family it is a duty and they lack support they don’t talk much during the year and they don’t truly care. The other family they are always sharing things, time stories and the simple but meaningful things of life.

I think today I have been too reflective about what is going on but I want to thank everyone who calls and checks up it keeps the gas in my reserve tank. Well my hair was falling out so fast it was time to shave my head it will be close to a year before I get some of the roof back.

August 12, 2011

Wow, another day and I am just struggling to keep moving. This has been a horrible day I have not had any energy and then I got very ill and started running a fever. I had to be taken to the hospital where I remained with what appeared to be an infection. Lost several pounds of bodily fluids within about a fifteen minute period of time, this makes three days that I have been back to the hospital since I was released I am so week I can hardly walk at this time. I am walking and trying to show signs of strength. This is starting to be one of the greater challenges in life just trying to move and be active at this time. I appreciate Jan and all her patience and my good friends Bill and Kit they came to the hospital and spent time with Jan and I while we were in the emergency room and the University of Utah Hospital.  So tired not much to say I am not connected with the world the way I have been feeling.

August 11, 2011

Wow, this is a very different day I have not felt like this for a long time. The drugs that have been administered to avoid the pain of the kidney stone have taken their affect. I am so sleepy and don’t feel any pain right now.

All I know is that I am very tired and I am having a hard time just trying to write down what I am feeling. This is so different; I know I can’t drive as my balance is off. Very difficult trying to spell and hit the right letters on the key board not a good day to be driving could cause an accident.

Never been so tired wondering when I will wake up alert. It is 8:30 in the morning and I have been sleeping since 8:30 last night. Fell like an old drunk feels good in one sense without any pain but so disconnected from the world. Sure hope I will gain my barring’s about myself and know where and what I need to be doing, right now I am taking the safe side by sleeping. Yet this is the best I have felt since I have been home no pain, no indigestions, able to just sleep. Very unusually day wanted to write but writing is not making much sense.

August 10, 2011

Yesterday was a most amazing day. I got my car back from the shop and ran a couple of errands. I purchased my first set of clippers to shave my head before I go back to the hospital for my next round of chemo. I came home and fixed myself some lunch and then the world changed. I came down with this terrible back pain. Jan got home from work at 4:00 P.M. I called my doctor and was told to get to the hospital as it appears my kidney stone is dropping. We drove to the University of Utah Hospital's Emergency room and I remained there until 10:00 P.M. The stone did not move anymore and I was sent home. Well today I go back to the Huntsman Hospital and will remain there for about four hours. I did not accomplish anything yesterday. Hope I can get a few things done today. I will start writing my personal history as soon as I feel better. I woke up with some pain and decided it was time to publish my log for today.

August 9, 2011

Today was a very different day and I never truly know how I am going to feel I got up took my antibiotic and then an hour later took my steroids oh this is what just takes everything away from me. I got so sick and ran out of energy could hardly move. No energy could not even talk on the phone and if I did so it was only for a few minutes and then I was just tired my voice is so week I can hardly be heard.

Jan came home and took care of my dinner and we left to go visit some friends and came back home. The very worst part of the day was our town home was under contact and it appears it has failed since the buyers for our town home lost the sale on their home which was a backup offer. I sure hate the thought of making another monthly payment on the townhome.  As such I did not feel like I made any progress today I am trying to keep a positive attitude and will wait and see what tomorrow brings.

August 8, 2010

This was another great day, I did leave home for two hours to attend church and what a great feeling that was having missed last week. I have never felt such an out pouring of love and kindness. I came home and soon afterward my youngest son, his wife Amber and the two little ones Austin and Brighton the twins came to what a joy grandchildren are such a great blessing from our Father-In-Heaven. I felt okay I can tell I am losing my strength with this battle but my spirits are so good. I have found that there are so many different families in my life. I have my nuclear family with Jan my wife Lisa my daughter and her family and Brian my son and his family. Then I have various church families’ members and organization, my work family, Jan’s work family, and then in my treatment at Huntsman I have several teams of family working for my well-being. This does not include my many good and supportive friends over the years that have come to see me from far away. I am very blessed and this is what keeps me going. The love that is shared it makes it easy to keep a positive attitude not matter the outcome. I never would have thought this possible. I love my neighbors and their small children and the joy they bring into my life. I love the former Dentist who is here to take care of me and provide shots I love the neighbor who has worked so hard making sure we  have help to clean the home. I love neighbor who is working too hard to make sure I have transportation to and from the hospital so Jan can go to school and work and not have to compromise her position. I feel good emotionally, socially and spiritually. What a gift physically I am between 20and 25 percent of what I used to be. All I can say is that I am blessed and I know I could never make this treatment on my own. If I make it through it, the reason will be because of all the good people around me who have carried me. If I don’t my life is so much richer and I have not one regret I am surrounded by the best of the best.

August 7, 2011

As I am home and I write about my experience I am going to be reporting on the day before. Yesterday I got up and took my antibiotic at 5 A.M. and at 6 A.M. hour later took ten steroid pills. I started become very ill and sick to my stomach and week. We had to be at the Huntsman Center for my infusion treatment which is nothing more than having four hours of outpatient Chemo therapy. I was afraid that I was going to be admitted to the hospital. It took about half an hour to stabilize me the data bank and treatment they have been using is most helpful I was administer drugs and the pain subsided and I gain my strength back. I was then ready for my outpatient Chemo.
When we left the hospital we ran a few errands and got some lunch came home for about an hour and then we went to get a nice pedicure on our feet. I cannot say how nice this was usually I would say I am a man and I don't deserve this type of treatment. All in all it was great we enjoyed it very much and my feet felt so good. The lady working on my feel said I had small little cristilized balls that were dissolving and usually are a sign of poison. Dug what is Chemo but I could bend my toes when I was done which I have not been able to do for several months. I think we have come on to something. We got home about 5 P.M. and I was lazy until about nine P.M. at which time I went to bed. I have only been able to sleep about two hours all night it is 3:38 A.M. as I am finishing this log.

August 6, 2011

I can’t believe how fast this time is going. I have been home three days and today I go back to the hospital for some tests and to see about the bone marrow replacement therapy program. I should be at the hospital for at least four hours I was told. I don’t like to think about what the medical staff will be doing to my body. All I know is that they are doing everything within their power to protect and preserve me. Yesterday turned out to be a fantastic day. I went internet shopping with my little six year old granddaughter Eden. She is so bright and the things she decided she would like for school were so cute she has such good taste. Not something I would have ever thought of doing with her living so far away. I can’t thank Lisa my daughter for her insight this was a great and wonderful experience to talk to Eden on the phone as we shopped on line. Sure beats going into the store and being subjected to various infections. The best shopping experience I have ever had.

August 5, 2011

This is the dawning of a new day a day of HOPE, I made it through another day and was so glad to be home. I have had a bit of a hard night trying to sleep but how thankful I am to be here for one more day.  I broke a light fever and decided it was time to get up and complete my blog for today I will need to catch up on it tomorrow. Today I am going to read a little and focus more on feeling good. As I think of where I could be and who I could be with I am so thankful that I work with the best people in the whole United States Air Force both Military and Civilian. This journey is one that I cannot complete on my own. The many helping hands just amaze me, those carrying the load for me at work, those who take care of my yard and home, those caregivers at the hospital and my family members wife and children who are devoted and doing all within their power to assist and give me hope. Today I dedicate my blog to HOPE, I am reminded of 23rd Psalms and 3rd Ecclesiastes, take a moment to read them not only do I get HOPE from them but from all who are truly sustaining me. Jan, Lisa and Brian thank you for your love and understanding as my family members. My work family thank you, my friends and associates in so many other ventures of life thank you my life could not be richer.