Well I just got home from the Huntsman Cancer Hospital I have completed over 500 hours of chemo. I have over 2,000 left to go. I get chemo 24/7 when I am in the hospital. This was my third time and Monday I was ready to just call Jan and tell her to come and pick me up it was so hard. I had another two units of blood again this time and was so sick and in a great deal of pain as well. Then yesterday came and I said well it is not so bad today maybe I can make this another eight months. Eight more months of chemo seems like an eternity. I want to have a good attitude but Monday was not a good day for me. The minutes seemed like days and the day felt like an eternity. I just wanted out in the worst way, but then 24 hours later and I am saying I will give it another go. I have 18 chemo treatments for a total of 126 days of chemo 24/7. I have now completed a total of 20 days. When it gets below 100 I hope it will seem manageable. Right now it is the hardest thing I have ever done. I cannot explain how bad chemo can be and when I talk to others and they say oh I had eight treatments for eight hours each I think wow that would be nice. I should not complain I just want to be back to a normal life of going to work and having some of the hassles of life now they don’t look so bad and compared to what I am going through might be a real gift at this time. I want everyone to know how much the visits and phone calls have meant to me. I worry about work and want to return back to work one day I started out with seven months of leave and worry once the leave is gone how are we going to manage things. I guess I will cross that bridge when it comes.
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