I am up again the pain and discomfort is not allowing me to sleep. S such I thought it was good time to write what I am feeling at this time. I have been asking myself as I get weaker what keeps me going. I could be so discouraged at this point and time. But as I look at it and try to figure where the strength comes to fight this disease and the strength to keep going as I had no idea how difficult this was going to be. Then I know where it comes. It comes from those who truly care about you those that you never ever thought would have cared about you.
It is my world family, who makes up my world family I ask myself? For sure is it is those closest to you in my case my two children Lisa, Brian their families and my good wife Jan.
My strength does not start and end here it goes on it comes from so many truly good people who call and who you know care. It comes from the stranger you don’t know today but you know tomorrow who you have shared some feelings with.
The places I always thought I would get the most support have been most surprising it has not come from them. My family at work is so good, Jan’s family at work is so good and I never had any idea how great my neighbors would be. Yet today I stand as a witness knowing where it comes from as I have struggled the past few days in the hospital as my tank of energy and home seemed to be diminishing and was wondering how I would do it. I found that I have a reserve tank, this tank is filled with those who keep calling and asking how I am doing how I am feeling and knowing that I have not been well keep calling and offering love and understanding.
My yard concerns me a great deal it used to be my pride and joy having a good looking well-kept yard. I have some bushes that have become over grown and when I came home yesterday from the hospital I saw them and the task was overwhelming. How would I ever get it done and the yard back to shape? This task was too much for me to concentrate on far less something that I can even accomplish.
Then last night I got a call from the Daybreak Young Single Adult Ward, these youth are so great they called and said we need a service project is there some yard work or something we can do. Then they told me they will be over Monday night to take care of my yard. I broke down in gratitude and thanksgiving for their support.
I have found at times like this you truly find out how good people are and how much it means to have friends and family that support you. This is a journey I cannot make on my own regardless of the outcome but the compassion that is being shown is so good. The phone call Dale how are you today and I will call tomorrow to see how you are doing sustains me.
The one thing I am now sorry about it that I did not take more opportunity to serve during my life time. I truly have a testimony of service and how we do adopt others into our families. I want to thank everyone who has called and offered their support and condolences. I want to thank Jan and my extended families of the community for all the great things you have done on our behalf.
I see the world in such different terms. Yesterday as my good friend Bill was driving me home from the hospital I truly understood something else. As a society we move far too fast I was watching the cars speeding in and out of traffic cutting others off failing to signal and said what a different world I am seeing on the road. This is so different from the kindness and understanding I have been feeling at home.
I thought about families and though how often and different they are I have a friend who told me almost every Thanksgiving he hates to get with family there is always an argument and it usually erupts over alcohol. Then I have friends who come from humble backgrounds and they have the strongest of families. In contract when I look at these friends who have talked about why they like or dislike Thanksgiving I see things in a different light. One family it is a duty and they lack support they don’t talk much during the year and they don’t truly care. The other family they are always sharing things, time stories and the simple but meaningful things of life.
I think today I have been too reflective about what is going on but I want to thank everyone who calls and checks up it keeps the gas in my reserve tank. Well my hair was falling out so fast it was time to shave my head it will be close to a year before I get some of the roof back.
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